A former neurosurgeon, disillusioned by the medical system's focus on profit over genuine healing, quit his lucrative but unfulfilling career to pursue a path aligned with his core values of relieving suffering through lifestyle and nature.
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doobie so I used to be a
neurosurgeon I trained or I went to
college at MIT
and did uh four years of medical school
and six years of neurosurgery training
and and I I I was a neurosurgeon
for almost 10 years after after all of
that so that's 20 years of my
life and I
quit I quit last
quit uh people would ask but you know a
decision that involves 20 years of your
life you can't really answer in a couple
minutes and most people don't have
time to sit and listen to uh a 10 or 15
minute story or however long it takes to
explain why someone's doing something
that most people would never do and they
don't really understand why I would do
that so that's why I'm making this
video uh first to help sort my own
thoughts out about the whole thing
because there's a lot of factors but
also to maybe help somebody else who's
in U in a tough spot
spot
uh if they're in a tough spot like I was
maybe hearing my story will help
spot um I'm going to put my hood on
because there's some mosquitoes out here
so I
so I became a
doctor uh to help people and I remember
at the beginning of medical school when
there was a ceremony and we all took a
hypocritic oath I remember there was one
of the old older faculty docs and he
said that your job as doctors is to
relieve suffering it's not
to it's not to uh do a surgery or give a
pill it's to relieve
suffering that that might be for from
doing a surgery or a pill but it might
be just listening
listening
acknowledging what someone's going
through that stuck with me all through medical
medical
school and residency and afterwards
um how I became a neurosurgeon is is
um well I've always been interested in
how the brain works how Consciousness
Works how
how our our brain and body is able to
perceive this mountain
nearby um we have so many choices in
life like is there such thing as a good
life and if so how do you live that
those are all questions that I was
curious about and that led me
to be C ious about the brain and at that
time at my medical school there were
some researchers and they still they
still are working on this um uh working
on connecting brains to computers uh
through a brain machine interface so
this was this was like science fiction
uh
creating a robotic arm or leg that's
thoughts that was really interesting to
me and there were people working on that
so I wanted to go into neurosurgery and
learn about that and do research on it
and maybe one
day do do a surgery like uh a Luke
Skywalker replacing his arm kind of surgery
so I went into uh neurosurgery training
I got
in and uh I spent six
years learning how to do brain surgery
and most people don't know that
neurosurgeons spent half their time also
learning how to do spine surgery because
um spine problems are more common than brain
brain
problems so I spent six years learning
how to do both brain and spine surgery
and I did some
research uh working on rats and
electrodes putting electrodes in their brain
brain
and and um I was slated to go go up to
Toronto to work with the guru of uh
interfaces but as I did more research
this dream
of being able to give people robotic
legs I don't think will ever happen and
that's because the brain the brain knows
that these small electrodes that listen
to the brain are are not part of the
body so it rejects it builds up a wall
of Scar and then the electrodes they
can't hear the they can't hear the
neurons the little tiny cells in the
the the goal that I wanted to to
accomplish which was to become a
neurosurgeon who specializes and does research
research
on on um brain machine interface
would that would not work out in the end
limitations and after putting in 4 years
plus at that time 5
years of my life that's nine years of my
from 20 to 29 years old it's like the
prime of my youth I I I I had put it
invested it in doing medical school and
learning how to do brain and spine
that where I wanted to go I I would
never be able to make it it's just not not
not
possible and after putting N9 years of
my youth into that job um I didn't want
to throw that
away so in my last year of residency I
um I learned how to do spine Serv urg
cuz that's what most neurosurgeons do
it's the most common thing is what a
regular neuros surgery job is is fixing
people's um worn out necks and
backs and I had good teachers to do that
and and uh you know I
graduated and
I I got my first job and
and
um yeah I knew that some something was
not right right
away it you know I had good partners I
had good hospitals that I worked at
uh but something was not right I was very
very
unhappy I I and on the surface it didn't make
make
sense I had um I was getting paid very well
well
it was a very well-respected
job I had good colleagues had good
support but I was the most
unhappy um that I've ever
been and I couldn't really figure it out
for a long time
time
um I had gotten married before uh just
before getting the new job and and and
that's the best decision I've ever made
supportive she tried to help me
out uh but um really I didn't know what
was the problem I couldn't I couldn't describe
describe
so it's really complicated and I I'll do
the best I can to explain
it going back to medical school when
when I took that oath and I had that um
older Professor say that your job is to
relieve suffering you know that's what I
understood to
um of what it means to be a good doctor
and I had learned all these fancy spine
surgery techniques to do all this
incredible surgery work through tiny
cuts and it's called minimally invasive
spine surgery it's the latest
technology we use navigation like a GPS
inside the operating room like all all
the latest techniques you know I learned
and I learned how to do well and I I did
them and I I helped
I helped a lot of people
out but there were way more people that
I couldn't help and that's because
um you know
surgery surgery like if if someone's got
a what's called um degenerative spine that
that
means their spine degenerated it wore
out could be a bulging disc pinching a
nerve or a disc is just worn out and
bones are rubbing on each other or
there's a loose joint and the joint is
banging on nerves causing
pain I can do surgery to cut
out like a buling disc to to remove
something and make more room for a nerve
or I could I could do a surgery where I
put titanium screws and rods into the
spine and lock it down and remove motion
it's all removing
things the only thing that was adding
things was putting in a little electrode
to to block pain signals
signals
do but th those were the tools I had I I
well but what I what I realized later on
you those those aren't fixing the
problem there's so many people with with
back problems neck pain back pain nerve
pain down their arms and legs
legs
surgery surgery might make him better
for a little bit
but it didn't address what caused that
disc to wear out or the disc to bulge or
the joint to get
loose or the the
the disc in between the bones to
disappear and then the bones are rubbing
on each other those surgeries they don't address
mosquitoes so what I was doing was I was
doing the surgeries that I learned how
to do I was trying to help people but
these surgeries they weren't fixing the
problem they would help some people feel
better some people would feel the same
some people would be
worse u a lot of people I saw in clinic
I had to tell them that oh surgery is
not going to help
you and of course they would be
devastated because I was sort of their
that all weighed really heavy cuz I
thought I was going to relieve suffering
and I did relieve some suffering but I
saw so much more suffering that I couldn't
couldn't
relieve even if I tried even if I tried
so um a PA a PA a physician assistant
that I worked with um he made a good
analogy that the surgeries we're
doing is like this it's like you have a
house and the roof the top top of your
house has a leak
somewhere and rain water is coming down
into the house and it's ruining the
drywall and you can see it you can see water
damage the surgeries that I could do
were like going into that house tearing
down that drywall ripping out the moldy
insulation putting in brand new
wall but not
roof that's what I was doing and the way
that I could do a perfect surgery and
some people would get better some people
would stay the same some people would
get worse even though I did the exact
same perfect
surgery and some people would get better
before I could oper praying on
them even with gigantic bulging discs
they would get better if I scheduled a
surgery a month out they would sometimes
they would call me a week before surgery
and say oh hey Doc uh you know my my
nerve Pain's gone um do I still need to do
do
surgery yeah I got a big disc in there a
right and you that that was
uh that was very confusing to
me you know I had learned some of that
in nurse in residency
but actually being out there and
practicing and seeing seeing what
happens to people I realized that well
wait a
second wait a second this this isn't
quite what I thought it was I thought that
that
um if I do a perfect surgery people are
going to get
case
so over the nine years that 9 to 10
years that I I was a neurosurgeon
I it really bothered me it really
bothered me I felt that
um I felt that wait there's something
I my surgeries are not they don't seem to
to
be they don't seem to be addressing
what's causing people's health problems
but but not um not in the way that I
thought not in the way that I thought
when I was
training and so over 9
years I did everything I could try to do
to try to figure out but how do people
actually get
better and how do they get
worse and um you I had help along the
way I had a really good partner who was
a pain management doc at my first job
and he really clued me into um a lot of
a lot of the things I'm going to explain
here but I just started asking
patients like everything I could think
of um what do you what do you normally
do what's your job what do you eat what
do you drink do you smoke do you do you
elicit drugs do you uh you have a lot of
friends do you
you how's your family are you stressed
out do you sleep
well I I just would ask all my patients
just kind of this whole bunch of
questions about their life and what I found
found
um
patients that did certain things would get
get
better and patients who wouldn't do
those things would get worse my surgery
might help them out a little bit but
they would get worse after
that um and those things that I I saw
were the following it's um people that got
got
better people that
healed they were doing following and not
exactly but in general and this is my observation
observation
uh they they
were having a diet well diet seemed to
be the most important the food that
people ate and the liquids they
they had a low salt diet like not it
wasn't really
salty and most of them ate mostly
plant-based Foods you know like
vegetable vegetables fruits whole grains
beans and this is not this is not like a
vegan rant or anything I I I'm not vegan
I enjoy a steak or sushi every once in a
while I'm just describing what what I
saw over N9 years of doing spine
surgery people that got better were
having a mostly plant-based diet they
weren't eating too much animal foods and
they were definitely not eating salty
and they would do things that would make
them sweat like exercise being outside
hiking like this going to a sauna
sauna
um or they live in a warm
place um they didn't
smoke they didn't drink
much uh
they usually had a good soci social
support like uh loved ones family members
members children
children friends
friends
um like a way to socialize they would
sleep they would sleep like eight hours
every day and they weren't stressed out
or they if they had a stressful job or
to like be mindful or meditate or like
just be present
and um release the stress back into the Universe
Universe
saw and I saw that the people who did
that they would heal so quickly that I
couldn't operate on them I mean
sometimes I could but if I was booked
like three or four weeks
out a lot of times people would that
were doing that they would heal before I
could do the surgery that I thought
would fix the
problem and the opposite was true you
know patients that patients that
um so they smoked like a chimney they
sat on the couch and they ate hot dogs
all day they had no friends they were
super stressed
they didn't sleep
well yeah th those patients like I I
could do a really good surgery I would
get them temporarily better but 6 months
year later the same part of their back
would have a recurrent problem or a
different part a different joint of
their back would have a similar
problem and I would operate on them and
they might get better for 6 months and then
then
yeah then the same thing would happen so
problem so that that was my that was my
aha moment it's like
oh I know what's going
on wait to actually heal you you need to
like eat a certain
way sleep a
lot not be stressed out I have a good
social network exercise move your body
stretch if you do all those
things you
heal and when your body heals it doesn't just
heal worn out joint in your neck or your
back it heals everything it heals a worn
out joint in your neck your back it
heals the skin problem it heals um your
digestive tract problem it heals your hair
hair [Music]
[Music]
issues when when your body heals it heals
heals everything
everything
and that actually became a huge problem
and uh let me explain why that's a huge
problem because most people will say wa
how is that a problem that you figured
out how people are
healing uh it's a problem because our
medical system isn't set up isn't set up
this way our our
um our you know I'm I'm not knocking any
hospital or group that I worked with
I've I had the privilege to work with
really amazing people and amazing
hospitals amazing
institutions but the way that everything
is set up in the whole country it's not
any particular Hospital the way things
are set up is that the hospital needs to make
money they need to make money they need
economically and the problem there is
that if you figure out a way to help
and that in that way doesn't include a
pill or a surgery
surgery
well then the hospital and the doctor
because if you figure out a way to help
people heal and you can't charge them for
for
it well then you've just um worked
yourself out of a
job let's just say let's just say um
like for example there's a hospital in a
town and um you know there's an x amount
of people with back
problems um and the hospital that
there's a doctor say it was like me Dr
Gooby was
doing we'll just say 100 spine surgeries
in a year to fix those the people in the
community's backs and the hospital got
paid Dr Gooby got play
paid and um they Contin every year 100
Gooby well the hospital's happy Dr Gooby
gets paid Dr gooy may not be happy with
his life
but he's getting paid and the do the
hospital is getting
paid but if Dr Gooby figures out
out hey
hey
um yeah you know what this surgery can
help some people but really the best
thing that people can do is eat a certain
certain
way exercise
sleep meditate be mindful you not be
stressed hang out with their loved ones
and friends and then their back problems
better and if Dr Gooby actually
recommended that to his patients and
they actually did get better
well it's a big problem for Dr goobie's
paycheck and the
hospital cuz let's say in that town
let's say
everybody everybody ate more veggies and
fruits they really watched the salt
intake they did things that made them
sweat like being outside in the summer
exercising enjoying fresh air and the
nature and and uh spending time with
their loved ones and they slept 8 hours
every day and they they meditated and
they weren't stressed out let's just say
everybody who had back problems in that
town did that and they got
better they
healed then nobody needs spine surgery
anymore in fact they probably don't need
a lot of things
anymore and
and the hospital's operating room is
surgeries now I'm not saying that that's
exactly what happened because not
everyone's going to do all those things that
that
I that I talked about but I had a lot of
patients that did do those things and
they got better I never had to operate
on them and they were very happy that
they never had to be operated on and
they got better better that the pain went
years and
I I still did surgery because you know
not everybody could can do all those
things I talked about I mean just practically
surgery but I really felt
like really felt like the focus of
medicine wasn't in the right place it
wasn't in healing it was in making money
from surgeries and pills and
from uh again I'm not knocking any
particular place that I work
I work for very good hospitals people
have good intentions but the incentives
are not not right in the whole system
this whole country's medical system
probably not just this country but most
countries um it's not about prevention
it's about
therapies so yeah once I once I figured
out this
problem or figured out what was going on
it was a huge problem for me
ethically I was doing surgeries that I
knew weren't fixing the underlying
problem they may be fixing the drywall
and taking out the insulation and
putting in brand new insulation and
putting a brand new drywall and
some pretty color of paint on the wall
but it wasn't fixing the Leaky Roof
Roof
so I didn't know what to do I I I was
anymore it was the way I was getting
paid and I don't know how to do any
other job at that time my wife wasn't
paycheck we don't have kids thankfully
makes things a lot easier uh we have
dupy our doggy our doggy child and she's
7 years old and but yeah we don't we
don't have like a a human
child and um yeah I I was thinking well
I'm the only paycheck I I need to keep
working I need to keep going to this job
that I don't believe in
anymore and that tore me
apart I gained 40
I was really sad I was really angry
angry
frustrated didn't have
hope I thought I was
stuck and then um this was the year before
before
last year before last I was like I don't
know how I can do this for the rest of my
my
life most surgeons they keep operating
till they're 60
and that time I was 38 I was like I
don't know I don't know how I
can I don't know how I can operate doing
this doing surgeries I don't believe in
even though I I can do them I can do
them very well and I can help some
people out I helped out a number of
people but I
I it was a moral dilemma or moral injury
I think there's the term moral injury
it was a moral injury um and it
devastated me
and I kept going to work and I
job but um yeah it tore me up
inside and I knew that if I kept going
back to that job every day for another
20 years
uh I would die before 20 years I I my
soul they would
and I don't I don't think I would have
so so I I I knew that something had to
change but I was stuck I I was the bread
winner and I think a lot of people can
relate to this I think a lot of people
may may feel this
way um and
uh I knew that I was dying I I was dying
dying so you know I I talked with my
wife and I said well you know would it
be okay if if I I just work
part-time maybe I'll cover the ER
neurosurgery job for couple weekends a
month or a week or week and a half each month
month
and do something else something that
makes me feel good like being out here
being out in
nature uh the rest of the time and my my
wife you know I was I said earlier that she's
amazing she said
I see what you're going through
I've I've lived with you through
quit and I I said what H how can I quit
you know you're not you're not working yet
yet
she's she was going to school for a
second career and
and she said well you
know we'll be okay
we we saved up some
money it's not enough to retire but
it's something to live off of for a few
quit and I thought about it thought
about it really hard and I knew that I
couldn't keep going
back but I didn't know what I was going
to do instead for
work but I knew that I would die if I
kept going
back so with my wife
support I went to my job and I said hey
I can't do this
anymore I will do it for another I think
it was nine months at that time I'll do
it for another nine months until you can
find someone to replace me so that our
that hospital still have a spine surgeon
surgeon
um so I I I I just worked another nine
months and I
I I would try to explain but this video
is probably already 40 minutes long and
people don't have 40 minutes to listen
to me explain why I
quit you know so I would tell them oh
yeah I was burnt out or um it's just too
stressful I I just want to take a break or
or
um it said I said all kinds of things
like like that I mean they're all true
but they weren't the full picture
picture
um and you at first I was like I was
really embarrassed to
say that I'm quitting and that I have no
plan of what to do afterwards that was embarrassing
embarrassing too
um but
after after some time had passed and a
lot of people had asked me that question
and I told a lot of people I have no
idea what I'm going to do
afterwards it actually felt good if if
it feels good
to not have a plan it's
um it's freeing it's I got because I
don't have a plan I I don't have to be
anywhere I don't have to do something at
a certain
time um
and then I just kind of like leaned into
it and someone asked me oh what's your
plan I said I don't
know and I felt good about it and I
me they felt uncomfortable where where
whereas I was feeling uncomfortable
initially saying that
but yeah over time I you know I I just
accept it like I know I can't do
neurosurgery anymore and I don't have a
plan and I'm quitting and I won't have a
paycheck uh I got I got some money saved
up and I can live off of that for a
while but I've got to work again at some
point I can't retire um but yeah no I
need to do this I I knew I needed to do
this and I and I did it so that was last
September I
quit haven't gone back
first oh so so you know this is I think
what most people call a midlife
crisis um but I would say the crisis
part was really the nine years that I
crisis so I think that's what most
people call a midlife crisis
is what I would say was those 9 years I
was really unhappy I I I knew something
was wrong and I knew I couldn't live
like that but I I felt stuck felt stuck
in that situation felt like I couldn't
um Escape it that was a
crisis now that I've
left I haven't been this happy in my whole
whole
life it does not feel like a crisis
right now I mean maybe financially it
might be a crisis that's some point but
but
ever it feels
right um
so so what I did when I quit
is I just walked a lot outside cuz I you
I had gained 40 lbs like I said earlier
and yeah I ate healthy I slept a lot
because you know a neurosurgeon they
don't sleep very well because they're
they keep getting called about
emergencies you I nobody was calling me
I slept every night for a really long
time and I walked and I spent time
outside I spent time with my dog I did
the things that I wanted to do which
like be out
here um my dog she's Dobie she's seven
years old and for the majority of her
life she
um unfortunately had a very boring life
because I was so busy my wife was busy
and we take her out for a walk every day
for half an hour to an hour and then she
would just lay at
home the rest of the day
and yeah made me sad made me sad that
that's her life or that was her life and
so I I wanted to spend time with her and
spend time with her outside because she
loves being
outside um and
so so I first started out I want to lose
weight get back to a healthier weight I want
want
to help my dog live a full life you know
the way she's having fun she's smelling
that's kind of where things started and I
I
um I made that made this YouTube channel
Gooby and doobie
um
record the experiences I have with uh
with dubie because she's not going to
live forever if I live a fulllength life
you know she's going to pass pass away
before before um before I
do and um I wanted to be able to
remember the times that I've had with
her and so that's that's why I made this
um where I'm going with this is is that
but so where I'm going with
this where I'm going with this
is you I quit I quit I had no
plan but when you let go of something
that you're holding too tightly even
though it's hurting you and you let go
of it then you're able to pick up something
something
else that hopefully is better for you um
um
I I wanted to spend time outside I
wanted to help my dog live a full life
by being outside with
me and then I wanted to record those
moments so
that if I live longer than duie I will
have those memories I can look back at
them and uh appreciate the time that
that I have with my
dog um that's how this Channel got started
started
and uh being outside with her I I
started taking video
scenes and
um I found them very therapeutic for myself
myself
um there were a couple stressful times
over this past year due to family family
and I found that hearing those uh nature
sounds really helped helped me feel
better helped me process what was going
on better be more present and aware and
and um kind of release that
stress stress and
anxiety um and so yeah that's that's
that's how I that's how I I am I came to
where I am
surgery I am able to be outside be
healthier my dog is able to live a
fuller life and I figured out a way that
I can help relieve people suffering by
it's not a surgery
but but it it definitely works to at
least one of those several things that
stress
so yeah that's my story that's that's
how that's how um an MIT
educated neurosurgeon
got to the point where they're
themselves well that was a really long
that was really long and I hope that
that might help somebody
somebody
um I hope that you have a wonderful day
if you're listening to this and uh you
trust your
you and do what you need to
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