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Darkest Dungeon 2

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نص الفيديو

I love Darkest Dungeon one. The

Lovecraftian narrative, the ambience,

the voice acting, the random number

generator decided to [ __ ] me that day.

It was awesome. So awesome that I went

on to make my very first game review

ever on that game. So when I heard that

they were making a second one, in my

eyes, it was basically the release of

HalfLife 3.

I was ecstatic, dude. [ __ ] yeah. I can't

wait for the voice actor to kill himself

again. And you bet I treated that [ __ ]

like fine wine, dude. It went right onto

the wish list from the moment it popped

up on Steam and I gave it all the time

in the world for all the balancing, the

updates, the DLCs, and the 20 nerfs that

will inevitably happen to Abomb. We'll

get into that later. I gave it the time,

man. I wanted to enjoy every bit of it

all at once. I wanted to be there at the

end of all the updates with a fully

featured product on my hands and the

opportunity to savor every bit of it.

And now I introduce to you my most

recent mental breakdown. Look, whenever

I make a video on a game, it's always

about a game that I'm generally positive

about. In a nutshell, I'm a corporate

chill, and greed is my middle name. And

I want you to know, I walked into this

game with full unfiltered cognitive bias

right away, right? Like I was in a

trance. Like I said earlier, this game

was HalfLife 3 to me. So the moment I

booted it up, I was already sucking the

proverbial dick of Red Hook Studios. I

had a positive review before I even

booted up the game. And on the Patreon,

I had already made an unpublished top

five reasons on why you should play

Darkest Dungeon 2.

And then I played it for about 2 hours

and found out that they went from a

rogike to a rogike. That is to say that

they took everything that everyone loved

and completely got rid of it. They got

rid of it. They removed everything. They

They got rid of it all. They got rid of

everything. They [ __ ] They [ __ ] up

[Music]

I should clarify from now that despite

being called Darkest Dungeon 2, this

game is anything but a sequel. For it to

be a sequel, that insinuates that

there's going to be major connections

with the first game. Darkest Dungeon 2

takes place in a canonically different

dimension where the developers tried to

experiment with very different design

choices, such as what if Vestal was

[ __ ] So, they have to be nearly dead to

heal. Cool. Bleed guy is now blight guy.

2D becomes 3D. It's actually pretty

good. What if rogike mechanics, but

unlocking items is completely random?

So, at a certain point, it becomes a bad

idea to keep unlocking as that would

dilute the pool of items that you can

get information in general is now

heavily obscure or just outright missing

from the game and the Wikipedia affects

no choices. But but what does that mean

though? What if the story was told

backwards and in pieces so nothing made

sense at all until the very end where it

will still make no sense? But if you

think about it, it will. In the first

game, the entire hamlet was managed by

various villagers trying to make ends

meet. In Darkest Dungeon 2, the entire

place doesn't even physically exist. It

only manifests metaphysically. Is he

trying to call me gay? Also, sex is no

longer a mod. It's now canon, and

homosexuality is a valid DPS strategy.

While ultimately I don't think it's a

bad game. I did put in over 100 hours

and beat both game modes, I can't help

but criticize it because Darkest Dungeon

1 was amongst my favorite turn-based

games ever. And to see the sequel be

such a far and long departure of the

first one has me playing that cuckoo ass

monkey game on both monitors just to put

up with it. The game is mislabeled. It's

not Darkest Dungeon 2. It has little to

do with Darkest Dungeon 1 to even be a

sequel. And this sentiment is also

reflected in the reviews. The

advertising would make you think that

it's related in some way, but it

canonically doesn't even take place in

the same dimension. In all honesty,

though, I have to admit a personal

failure. While writing this video, I was

extremely conflicted because on one

hand, the game on its own is not a bad

game. It's not great, but it's all

right. It's got some replay value for

sure. But on the other hand, its

labeling would indicate that it has a

connection with another game. That game

being Darkest Dungeon 1. So, I went into

this game with the expectation of major

similarities with the first one, which

wasn't even remotely correct. In fact, I

would go as far as to say that they

degraded in some sections, such as the

entire game heavily revolving around the

usage of tokens and controlling them,

but we'll get into that later. This

internal conflict caused me to be quite

critical of the game and everything that

I wrote about it. Whenever I had

something nice to say, it would be

followed up with two other negative

things to say. So, in order to have this

video be objectively, remotely coherent,

it's going to be in two parts. Part one

is an informational professional review

of the game and its mechanics, how it

functions, and so on. Part two is going

to be a first for the channel. It's

going to be an essay, a video essay,

pure hatred, a collection of critiques

regarding the various parts of the game

and its mechanics, ending it with a

mental breakdown that's canonically

accurate with the game itself. as I

abandon all professionality and allow

unfiltered rage to fly free like a butterfly.

butterfly.

Oh, damn, bro. Fire. Fire riding.

Amazing. Bro's got a severe case of

annoying ass syndrome. That's

interesting. Get a heal in real quick.

Zero, but he liked it. Brother's new

mental illness meta just dropped now.

How the [ __ ] is this a thing? Damn, a

disease. Damn, another disease. I just

cured it. What? As it would turn out, I

was getting so many diseases because of

this quirk, and the game only hints

towards it. What the [ __ ] $25.

$25.

I paid $25

for this [ __ ] Damn. I paid $25. $25.

$25.

[Music]

Darkest Dungeon 2 is a turn-based rogue

light that's meant to be difficult until

you look things up on Wikipedia. See,

the game is even more of an information

battle than the first one, as some

information is just outright not

explained, and the more difficult fights

involve mechanics that are heavily

obscured. The tutorials are pretty bad,

coming in the form of text walls that

you can read in the menu, and sometimes

they are incomplete, leaving out some

pretty valuable pieces of information.

For example, one important mechanic I

discovered after beating the game is

that the higher the stress on your

heroes, the less likely they are to get

positive relationship points with the

others. This is a pretty important piece

of information, and it's never explained

in the game. I think you're meant to

just guess that it exists, and I didn't.

There's quite a few examples of this, so

things will look difficult until you

figure out the mechanics involved,

unlock the right abilities, or give in

to the fact that the developers have a

bias towards certain characters and

abilities, but we'll get into that

later. There's two game modes.

Confessions being the primary game mode

with Kingdoms being more of an arcade.

For the time being, I'll be focusing on

Confessions as it is the primary game

mode and the way it was intended to be

played. Confessions is a campaign of

five missions. Each mission containing a

trip through three regions and ending

with the mountain where the main boss of

the campaign mission is located.

However, to enter the mountain, you're

going to need a boss trophy, which is

obtained by killing bosses in their

layers. Each region has one boss, and

you only need one, so you can choose

when to do it. Fun fact, mini bosses are

usually harder than bosses in this game.

The reason for that is because bosses

are primarily mechanical in their

difficulty. So, once you understand

what's happening, it's usually pretty

easy to proceed. Whereas mini bosses

said, "Fuck that." and instead use their

multiple turns per round to do high

damage to your entire party. Watch as

the entire team gets [ __ ] on in a single

turn with a mini boss. Whereas a boss

may very well just play a game of

Stardew Valley, replying to your

violence and abuse with a bucket of

compost and then planting two Rainar

seeds from Runescape. Any good game of

strategy has some degree of farming in

it, planting the seeds for the future.

But I have to admit, in a game about

battling Lovecraftian nightmares, I

would have never expected violence to be

replied to with a diet consisting of

nothing but uncooked broccoli. It seems

pretty effective, too, as the entire

team gets so desperate for an unhealthy

meal that they turn on to each other.

Speaking of Lovecraft, this game is more

about the love than the craft, as the

narrator actively encourages you to push

on. However, the game storytelling is

backwards, starting from the very

beginning before telling you what

predicament you're in. So, it's going to

be a pretty long time before anything

starts to make any sense at all.

Herald did a new pericious phase of our investigation.

investigation.

Cool. So, when does any of that start

making any [ __ ] sense, which is

unfortunate because now that I've fully

understood the story, I think it's

actually pretty good, just that it was

told in a bad way. Let me give you an

example. I had a cat once and it lived

its entire life in pure passion,

containing nothing but love for all the

people around her, even to the people

that she didn't know. Then one day, with

seemingly no reason, she started

crossing from our balcony to the

neighbors, where it would then pick a

fight with the most elderly person in

there consistently. Now, imagine if what

I just told you was somehow connected to

Darkest Dungeon 2's story. You'd think

to yourself, "Wow, that example makes no

sense, and is seemingly completely

disconnected with the environment and

everything happening in it." And you'd

be quite right. That's exactly how the

game tells its story. So, you're likely

to play the game, not understand much

about the story, then go watch a video

that explains it all, and then think to

yourself, "Damn, my man is not only

[ __ ] up in his imagination, but his

definition of basic geometry as well."

The game play revolves around you making

your team and then going off riding

through the three regions that you

choose. And along the way, you choose

your route as it comes and try your best

to make the most of what the game gives

you. Your ride is some knockoff Ali

Express edition of the Maserati. They

unironically get you to play the subway

surfer ass miniame. As you go from

location to another and choose your

route, you'll have to interact with the

various points of interest in this game.

Sometimes it'll be an organized group of

enemies. Sometimes it's some terrible

road engineering. Sometimes it'll be a

group of people asking for help or

offering to help. To each of these, your

team of heroes will react differently.

For example, one hero might offer to

trade relics for other items. One hero

might spend time helping them out for

pay, while another will just say, "Hey,

that's some nice stacks of cash you got

there. It's so unfortunate that my gun

happens to misfire 13 times into your

body and that your money was simply

completely surrounded in glue. So, I

couldn't give it back and had to leave

with it. Man, that's so unfortunate.

What an unlikely set of circumstances.

Wish I could do anything about it,

though. Depending on your choices, but

mostly your luck. Your team will have

either a positive or negative

relationship with each other. Though,

every choice will tell you how it

affects the team. Every time it has a

positive effect, you get one

relationship point. And every time it's

negative, you lose two relationship

points. So, it's biased towards being

negative. And the more negative a

relationship is, the more likely it is

to stay negative. You'll get some

situations where the highway man, you

know, the guy whose career is to

literally steal, will outright despise

the other member of the team that you

keep choosing over him to steal from

people. And if no choice was involved,

then the subject is going to be a lot

more ethnically concerned because while

driving, there's a random chance for

your heroes to banter with each other,

saying [ __ ] like, "Damn, bro, you look

more flamboyant than usual." At which

point the reply is going to be something

along the lines of either thanks man,

Every relationship starts neutral at 10

out of 20 points with zero being an

extremely high chance of a negative

relationship and 20 out of 20 being an

extremely high chance of a positive

relationship. If this sounds intuitive,

well, as is with a lot of things in this

game, it's intuitive with a catch. as

every point doesn't matter until you

reach certain thresholds and

relationship points. The game of course

never relays this information. I had to

find it on the wiki. Another piece of

hidden information is that the stress

level of every hero affects the chances

of their banter being positive with

higher stress reducing the chance of

positive banter. I found out about this

by reading 2-year-old patch notes. At

the end of every region, you will reach

an inn. They act as a checkpoint of

sorts. It comes with a shop where you

can buy various items like combat items

which are consumables that you can use

as a free action in a fight. There's

also in items which is a broad term for

a bunch of items that you can use to get

a buff that will last for the whole

region usually. For example, food

increases your maximum health which in

turn means that you will heal more as

healing is percentage based. Right after

exiting any inn, the game will roll the

chances for a relationship. When a

positive relationship forms, a random

ability will be chosen from both heroes

to have a positive effect. The negative

relationships though are much more

severe in their effects, doing [ __ ] like

making the game unplayable. Every time

the dedicated healer does less healing

than the poison gas expert, this happens

too many times. On top of this, a

negative relationship will force you to

have the negative ability selected at

all times. You can only select five

abilities. So, if a commonly used

ability is selected, well,

I'm [ __ ] dead. The relationship

system feels like a slippery slope for

the most part. You can, of course,

prevent this slippery slope from taking

place by buying several lers of alcohol

and forcing your unpaid employees to

chug it down. Nothing makes friends

better than turning their body from 70%

water to a 70% chance for a car

accident. But this is only possible if

two things take place. Number one, you

gambled hard enough to get it from the

gacha machine. And number two, it shows

up in the shops and you happen to have

the cash for it, which much like the

gambling phenomena that I keep

experiencing with this game, it's there

when I don't want it and never there

when I do want it. And if it's ever

there when I do want it, it's in the

form of one relationship point for eight

gold, which can only be defined as a

really good inside joke implemented into

the game by the developers. Every hero

starts out with five abilities with six

other unlockable abilities. You can

unlock abilities by exploring the story

of each hero, which you do at a location

called the Shrine of Reflection. You

find it randomly on a run. Every unlock

is permanent and is shared across all

runs. The game functions off of a

currency called hope. You get some with

every run. Before you start any run, you

will visit a spot called the altar of

hope. This is where you spend hope for

various upgrades or unlockables such as

bigger inventory, higher durability on

the Maserati, new heroes, subclasses,

and cosmetics. I have more to say about

the progression system, but for it to

make sense, you have to understand the

combat itself and the design around it.

The combat is very similar to its

predecessor on a surface level. It's

still turnbased, and you're managing not

just the health, but also the stress of

every hero. If health hits zero, the

hero enters death store where every hit

has a chance to kill off the hero for

good. If stress maxes out, your

character experiences a mental

breakdown, putting their health to 5%

and losing a lot of relationship points

with everyone else. Where the game

functions very differently is in two

ways. First of all, stunning has been

almost completely removed and stalling

is a strategy has been overkilled in

this game largely due to the strict

rules around healing in general. You can

heal health passively as you travel

around the map, but you can't heal

stress passively. you have to manually

heal that with abilities in the middle

of a fight. This change might not sound

like much, but if you understand how the

first game functioned, you'll know that

one of the most dominant mid combat

strategies was to stall. You would often

bring a team that's capable of doing

that with some members on the team

having the dedicated role to stun and

crowd control. But since crowd control

as a role doesn't exist anymore, most

fights end up boiling down to a DPS

race. And the ideal team composition

just looks something like this. And the

items you unlock via the gambling

machine at the altar of hope, they don't

do much for you. I mean, just look at

these stats. Why are they like this? Why

is it 1%. What is that ever going to do

for you? For the most part, the valuable

items will be anything that either

removes negative quirks or gives

relationship points. Outside of that,

it's just food items for more health and

combat items for damage or debuffs. The

backline of the enemy is usually the

most dangerous. If not clearly dangerous

right away, then eventually dangerous

when you find out that they have a

retrieve IP address ability.

What? I hell no. What the [ __ ]

[ __ ] just got me queasy. I don't recall.

See if this one and the difficulty

settings. Now for the second way that

the combat heavily differs from the

combat of the first game. Well, that

would be due to the token system. And

this is where I really really have to

hold my tongue on the game. Before I

continue, let me familiarize you with a

certain concept I like to call the

layers of progression in a game.

Progressing in any game happens in two

layers. the internal layer which is

progressing inside the game usually in

the form of getting better gear, higher

stats, unlock better items, more of

them, and so on. Basically, direct

increases in numbers. And then there's

the external layer, which is the player

understanding the game, how it

functions, and most effective tactics.

While you can unlock quite a lot of

items at the altar of hope, and some of

those items can be quite powerful, most

of the progression takes place through

you in the external layer, as the game

can heavily obscure some of the key

information to beating it. So, while you

can unlock subasses, items, and improve

your abilities, and all of that will

definitely help, the key to this madness

lies straight through Googling the

individual bosses to understand how they

work. This is especially true for the

obsession campaign boss fight, which is

a fight that ends almost as quickly as

it starts. I'm not going to spoil much

during part one of the video, but this

is a fight that obscures what's

happening so much so that I don't know

anyone who didn't just look up the boss.

So, you can have several runs that reach

the boss but lose all of them because

you don't understand what's happening

and start the next run just as clueless

as the first run. Now, how does any of

what I just said tie into the token

system? See, the game is generally less

reliant on chance than the first game.

Sure, there's the obscured behavioral

mechanics of some of the enemies, but

generally speaking, everything's much

more certain except for the terminology.

And I'm just I'm I'm so close. I'm so

close to losing it. I'm so close. At any

moment, at any moment.

Bear with me here because this part is

not easy to explain. We all know what a

buff and debuff is. A buff is a boost to

stats and a debuff is the opposite of

that. Pretty simple. You probably

already know this if you played any RPG

ever. Very standard terms. Darkest

Dungeon 2 saw this and decided to

reinvent the wheel. The design is very

human. Check this stupid ass [ __ ] out.

For whatever reason, the term buffs and

debuffs got renamed several times in the

same game. Instead of buffs and debuffs,

you got tokens, positive and negative

tokens, combo tokens, vanguard buffs,

vanguard buffs and debuffs, not to be

mixed up with buffs and debuffs, or in

buffs and in debuffs, consecrations, and

orange tokens.

The game's more difficult battles

revolve around controlling tokens. So,

this is a system that you'll be

interacting with quite a lot if you're

looking to win. There's an in-game list

of every token in the game, but not only

is it missing a lot, but it doesn't

explain itself on some things either.

For example, it took me around 70 hours

to find out what the worship token does.

The thing is, on its own, it doesn't do

anything. It's a mechanical token. It

can only be used in special conditions,

such as the presence of a mini boss or

special types of enemies. What's

confusing though is the conditions are

never clarified in game. And if the

conditions are never met, they still

generate the token. They just don't use

it. and you're left asking the question

about what it was it what it what I do.

Anyway, buffs and debuffs still exist

except that they exist in two separate

UIs. You know, I'm starting to think

with how separated the UIs are, they

really should have called this game

segregation dungeon 2. Tokens are a

onetime use buff. For example, a

strength token causes the next hit the

character does to do 50% more damage,

and once it gets used up, it's gone.

Positive tokens are yellow while

negative tokens are blue. This

distinction is important because there's

two abilities in the entire game that

interact with them separately. Very

quickly though, you'll find one of those

abilities become in the center of

everything you do. The rest is basically

buffs, but with mechanics. Orange tokens

usually allow the enemy to use special

abilities or receive unique buffs. I

have a lot more to say about this, but I

decided that getting detailed about the

token system is pointless. I also

realized after deleting this script 12

times in a row that if I get into it,

we're never going to see the light of

day again. So instead, I'm going to do

that in part two. You can think of it as

buffs and debuffs, but they can be

turned to other things depending on

whatever's going on at the time. We live

in the Disney Channel. I have to point

out a certain problem with the game.

There's this overarching narrative that

you're learning by failing and that

you'll eventually learn enough to

overcome the final bosses. This wouldn't

be a problem had failure sometimes meant

losing 3 hours of a single run. And all

you have to show for it is some vivid

understanding of a poorly communicated

mechanic. And that's assuming it's

communicated at all.

I'm next. Yeah, I would [ __ ] hope so.

What is he going to do otherwise? Bust

into a rhythm and round gas.

Learning by failure is best executed

when the game respects your time in the

process. For example, in Elder Ring,

there's a bonfire relatively close to

every boss, so you don't waste much time

before getting right back into fighting

the boss after a failed run. Whereas in

Darkest Dungeon 2, you have to spend an

entire run to reach the final boss, who

are all heavily mechanical, and they

don't always communicate what they do

effectively. So, you will usually fail

your first run against them, which is

frustrating because that means you have

to spend another 3 hours to get there.

And in those 3 hours, there isn't

anything new. It's just all more of the

same things again. Not to mention, the

game constantly takes this slow

approach, letting every cutscene or

camera pan take its sweet ass time. Even

the buttons can't be clicked until a

full 3 seconds pass. It's a game about

learning by failure, but it does a lot

to make it clear that it doesn't respect

your time. All right. All right. All

right. We take 3 hours, but we're at the

final boss. Let's see what he's got over

here. Oh, cool. He only does 72 critical

damage every hit. And the only way I've

been counter this was in the previous

phase. uh you know the time where I

didn't know that this would happen.

That's cool. That's great. That's

amazing game design. I really hope these

guys go on to make more games.

While the game is procedurally generated

until you unlock a lot of items, the

experience is going to feel very

repetitive very quickly because there

won't be many differences between every

run. So that's the gameplay loop of the

Confessions game mode. You start a run,

make your team, traverse the map,

choosing which locations you want to

check and what trouble you want to run

into. You try your best to get the team

to like each other and equip them with

the best trinkets you can get your hands

on to prepare them for the harder

challenges of the game, which is usually

a boss layer or the many stresses of a

campaign boss. Whether you win or lose,

you'll go back to the start and pass by

the altar of hope. In this location, you

spend a currency called hope that you

get by playing the game to receive

various permanent buffs or unlock new

items, heroes, or subasses. As for the

Kingdom's game mode, well, it's got its

own group of obscured mechanics, but you

can think of it as more of an arcade.

Instead of a campaign mission, the story

takes more of a backseat. You're meant

to protect the various ins around the

map from enemy sieges that happen

occasionally. If you lose too many ins

or run out of time, you will lose. To

win, you have to progress the quest

enough and eventually confront the

leader of the beast faction. As you go

around, you can upgrade the various ins

around the game with some restrictions.

You can also control every character in

the game individually. So you can have

them defend against the sieges when you

want to go somewhere else to do a quest

or something. Though if they're not in

your party, then they can't go on their

own missions, only fend off the sieges

that you don't want to deal with

yourself. You get one of every hero in

the game, so you can form little defense

parties that you move around the map.

The game mode has its own share of

hidden mechanics as well. For example,

there's text saying underground network

available, but I never figured out what

it means or if it even means anything.

That's about it. There's a fatigue

mechanic that's meant to discourage you

from using the same heroes over and over

in your party. But the stores suck so

much ass and have so little to offer,

even when upgraded that I just kept

paying to heal their fatigue every time

instead, as the trinkets you find on the

road are usually far more valuable than

whatever the store has to offer. I would

go into more detail, but in all honesty,

I'm so sick of obscure mechanics. Just

the other day, I found out that you can

actually skip a day in the game and

choose to do nothing to let your heroes

recover from their fatigue. I had to

find out about this from Red Hook's

official YouTube channel community

posts, but by the time I had found out

about it, I had already finished playing

through the game mode. Overall though,

everything happens much quicker in the

Kingdom's game mode. Every region is

much shorter and every currency reward

is vastly reduced. This is likely cuz

the amount of fights you'll be going

through is going to be a lot more than

you usually would go through in the

Confessions game mode. That's it. That's

all I have to say about the game as far

as a com review goes. If you wanted a

review, that was the review. From here

on, I'm doing this for me. Not for my

own well-being or anything healthy like

that, but because I rolled a d20 on a

willpower and resistance check and

landed a net one. Not because of bad

luck, but because I paid $25 for a game

not just this shallow, but also so

different from what it portrays itself

to be. You've heard me explain the game.

Now you're going to hear what I hate

about it, of which there is quite a lot.

While the combat felt initially improved

from the first game, all the cool parts

of the combat from the first game have

been removed. No more stunning. No more

disrupting enemy rank. It's just a DPS

race through and through. Even the

corpse mechanic on the enemies was

watered down. Whether you kill an enemy

using damage overtime or a critical

attack no longer matters. Enemy corpses

now always spawn to ensure a consistent

degree of [ __ ] present at all times.

For a rogike game, this one is a

marathon. The longest rogike run I ever

had in any other game was about 1 hour

and 40 minutes in Slay the Spire. In

Darkest Dungeon 2, you're looking at an

average of 3 hours per run. Every

character starts out with five abilities

and six other unlockable ones. Other

than the fact that you don't get to see

what abilities are locked or even the

order you'll be unlocking them in, the

fact that it takes 36 hours to unlock

all abilities gives us reason to believe

that the developers took inspiration

from systems involving forced labor.

Rogue lights are usually made to have

high-ability. 36 hours is a high amount

of repetition for a game that has little

variety to offer. We're talking less

than seven different enemies per region.

Each character having a subclass

initially sounds like a cool idea.

Unfortunately, you don't get to know

what they do until you unlock them.

There's a short descriptor, but it

doesn't mean anything because sometimes

it can be completely wrong. Not to

mention, some subasses are just there as

new bait. Like the carcass subclass for

the helion where two rounds in, she will

do, and I [ __ ] you not zero damage

consistently. There's no mechanic at

play or anything here. You get some

damage reduction, but that's it. The

relationship system sounds cool

initially until you realize that you'll

be spending every playthrough trying to

avoid its many punishments. It's so

heavily biased towards giving you

negative relationships, and the only way

to deal with it consistently is by using

the items you get from the end. And

that's assuming you already have them

unlocked, which will set you back 20

hours of gameplay. Information in

general is so heavily obscured now or

outright missing from the game, with

bosses being the biggest and worst

culprit of the matter. In the first

game, you were able to retreat to save

what you have and recover from the blows

of interacting with bosses for the first

time. In the second game, that's no

longer the case. You're in it to win or

lose. This wouldn't be so bad had it had

not have taken 3 hours per playthrough

to win. The concept, the the design, no,

the idea. No, no, no, no. The entirety

of the memory system. I could explain

more, but you know what, brothers,

fellas, my goos, Bowser can't keep this

one in anymore. An infinitely replayable

rogue light featuring the hottest new

drop in the motorized vehicle industry.

This [ __ ] is so slow that it takes a

third of the play time you spend in this

game. That's right. For every 3hour run,

an entire hour is just you watching the

Maserati drive around at a snail space.

An infinitely replayable rogue light

featuring the worst meta progression in

the entire rogike genre. We're talking

better progression that makes you ask

questions like, "Should I or should I

not feed slime mold to my soldier so

that he can enjoy the perks of 10% more

health, which is, and I [ __ ] you not,

about two to five more HP. Should I or

should I not spend 12 gold on an item

that has a 5% chance of making any

difference for one turn? Should I or

should I not unlock subasses that are

usually worse than the starter subasses

and sometimes are just joke subasses

outright, sometimes making the hero do

literally nothing after three rounds in

the fight. Should I or should I not cry

when the game turns out to have locked a

critical important ability that makes

the entirety of the cultist viable as

the last ability you unlock. So

everything you've been unlocking till

the end is not going to be usable until

you unlock the last ability. I found out

about this after 50 hours of play time.

Again, no information in the game about

this. Should I or should I not keep

investing into the gacha machine in

hopes to unlock the better items,

knowing that that would reduce the

chance of me getting the good items I

currently have unlocked already? What's

most frustrating about this game is how

close it is to being good. Don't get me

wrong, no version of this game could

have ever been better than the first

one, but it's so close to being a good

game on its own, but too many shortcuts

are taken everywhere. At every layer, at

every part in the game, something is

missing. An idea not fully actualized, a

mechanic too obscure to be

understandable, information that is just

false at times. In the game play, the

list of tokens is there, but unfinished.

In the loot, you get 10 versions of the

same trinket, and there's no loot

protection either. So, if you had just

thrown away an item, you can absolutely

get it back again. Even in the UI, you

have over seven different shapes for

buttons in the entire game. Even in the

tutorial featuring UI and buttons that

aren't even there anymore, even in the

subasses with some that seem like

they're just meant to be bad on purpose.

Even in the DLCs, we'll open that can of

forums way later in the video. And worse

yet, they're selling this phone game for $40.

$40.

40 USD. I downloaded malware and it was

more fun than this [ __ ] Now that's

crazy. But you know what's really crazy?

Calling this game Darkest Dungeon 2.

Advertised it as a rogike charging

people 40 uploads to then find out it's

a rog light. And there isn't even a

single dungeon. Wow. Wow. Wow.

Wow. Wow.

A sequel usually takes what the first

game did and tries to refine the

formula. Some things might change, but

for the most part, the games are usually

similar. Take Dishonored 1 and 2 for

example. Very similar games with the

second making minor changes, but overall

simply just giving more of what the

first game already offered. Darkest

Dungeon 1 was a game about taking risks,

about understanding the threat and

adapting to it, about caring for each

and every hero you use, upgrading their

gear, their skills, and taking care of

them mentally, too. kissing them good

night and reading them a bedtime story.

You use the loot and various currencies

you get from each and every run to

upgrade the facilities around town,

unlocking more advanced upgrades for

cheaper or just to get scammed at the

local trinket merchant. All of the time

in between the game play, investing into

the facilities to care for the heroes

better created this special feeling with

every one of them, which made the times

where things got spicy very intense.

Divine intervention, sunshine and

rainbow fighters in the bag. What is he

going to do about it?

That's a good run. That's a

Every run was a build to the next one.

Leveling the heroes and eventually

equipping them with better trinkets. The

game was more than just the combat. It

was about the care, about the

preparation, about slowly building up

the hamlet and the heroes involved. Then

eventually, when you have the confidence

and the trinkets to back it up, you

could finally take your first steps into

the darkest dungeon itself. Darkest

Dungeon 2 looked at what the first one

did, said, "Fuck that." and changed

everything, including the category of

the game. The combat has been reduced in

its complexity, but made more obscure

with the term buffs and debuffs getting

renamed several times in the same game.

The narrative is told backwards, in

pieces, and makes no sense at face value.

value.

You were blind.

Holy [ __ ] it was a Disney ritual. They

brought back Walt Disney and he

trademarked everyone that was present at

the ritual. Probably, possibly, maybe. I

don't know. I'm more than halfway

through the game and I don't know what's

happening at this point. The environment

is seemingly random and has nothing to

do with the story. This is because the

game doesn't tell you what predicament

you're in until the very end of the

game. So, there's practically no

storytelling until you're near the end

of the story. There isn't a mystery to

put together either. It just tells you

stuff that you have no context on. Death

isn't permanent anymore. It's only

permanent for that one run. So, if a

hero dies, that means you can't use that

hero anymore and have to replace him at

the next checkpoint. Not to mention,

before every checkpoint, there's a

particularly difficult battle in place.

So recovering a run where a hero dies

early is quite the struggle. And if you

succeed, you don't get any rewards for

it. And due to the lack of hero

diversity, most of the time a death will

usually mean that you're not going to

beat the final boss due to mechanical

restrictions. And the entirety of the

hamlet has been canonically replaced

with reverse dementia, as well as

information being heavily obscured with

some mental quirks just outright lacking

description both in game and in the

Wikipedia. It just says that it affects

stuff probably. And the stage coach

items say some stupid [ __ ] like has a

chance to produce some items and the

chance is actually 3% or something along

those lines, but it doesn't tell you to

make it seem like it matters. There's

also this symbol. I have 160 hours in

the game. I don't know what this symbol

means, but it shows up a lot. Not to

mention, the game calls itself a sequel.

It gives you many reasons to think that

it'll be similar to the first one, only

to shock you by showing you that it has

nothing to do with the first game except

the voice actor and the art style.

Darkest Dungeon 2 has a bigger focus on

single session experiences. Things only

matter for that one run and afterwards

nothing matters. You get that hope

currency that you can spend on the altar

of hope to unlock other neglected

characters like the leper. And in

between all the action, driving the

stage coach feels more like a miniame

than anything else. It's almost like an

interactive loading screen. I saw a

comment the other day that put it better

than I could, so I'm going to quote it.

The cinematic slow-paced style that the

game takes doesn't mesh perfectly with

the idea of an endlessly replayable

rogike. It makes the learn by dying

aspect of the game's difficulty feel

even more punishing and the grind feel

even that much grindier. I'll be honest,

this game had its own charm and kept me

going for about 20 hours and then I

started to feel like things were getting

very repetitive. A shrine of reflection

here and there might unlock a cool new

ability, but in most cases it didn't.

The rogike genre is at its best when

it's wacky, and this game was shallow. A

lot of the loot didn't feel like it

mattered. Not to mention, the average

rogike playthrough is about 30 minutes.

Darkest Dungeon 2 is a [ __ ] marathon.

It's like 3 hours on average. Now,

Darkest Dungeon 2 is not a bad game, but [Applause]

[Applause]

imagine if the people behind Dishonored

1 released the sequel, Dishonored 2, and

you boot up the game to find out that a

single playthrough is about 2 hours of

gameplay and that the ideal DPS

composition involves homosexual

tendencies. Now, does that sound like a

bad game? No. It had its charm. It was

nice to see and kept me going for a

little bit. But does that sound like

what you came here for? No. No, it's

not. Well, except the homosexual

tendencies part. I mean, have you seen

the Steam Workshop of the first game?

You know, I didn't come here for it, but

similar to how you didn't play Ultrakill

for the butt plug integration. Maybe

they just know what the people want. You

know what I mean? I didn't come to

Darkest Dungeon 2 to drive a goddamn

Maserati. I came to inch forward through

a claustrophobic hallway, step by step,

tile by tile. Not one moment without a

bit of tenseness in the air emphasized

by that tiny soundtrack playing in the

background. Every fight its own minor

trial and the decision between what

items to keep and what supplies to use

or lose. I tried my best genuinely to

have a good look at Darkest Dungeon 2

and the result of that look is that it's

not a bad game, but far from a good one.

I'd be lying if I said I was

unconlicted. I came here for one thing

and got gay porn. And every other line I

write about this game always involves

some mention of disappointment and the

unfulfilled expectation of intrusive

thoughts being whispered into my ear.

So, in order to prevent the video from

being just one big scream at the game

for not being good enough, I decided

that instead I'm going to name a couple

things that I like about the game in the

following presentation that I uh don't

remember making.

Welcome everybody. [ __ ] here. Welcome to

one of my famous top 10 lists. Today

we're going over my favorite turn-based

I'm now going to tell you about my top

10 things from the hit game Rogue Light

Game Rally Black Ass Hot Wheels 2.

Top 10 things I like about the game.

Number 10, the slow ass [ __ ] ass stupid

ass car ride that you get into. and glad

to know that even at the end of the

world, Uber still works no problem.

Number nine, it was developed in the

fourth circle of high. Number eight, the

3D art style is actually pretty cool.

Number seven, weaponized trumpet. They trumpet.

trumpet.

Weaponized trumpet. Number six, my

healer managed to pull off a critical

zero heal which impressed the entire

party. And from there they knew that

they could trust him with their lives

because even if he wanted to kill them,

they now know that he is too incompetent

to pull it off. Number five,

I forgot. Number four, every hero has a

cool story in the game except the

runaway. Literally just insane. Number

three, that 1% disease resist you get

from that very expensive upgrade. Pretty

cool. I love garbage, too. Number two, I

don't know. Honorable mentions. The

entirety of the leopard class and his

subasses. I wonder what the history on

this is. Number one, my most favorite

thing in the game.

Number one is my number one. My most

favorite thing in the game is how they

refer to positive and negative tokens as

buffs and debuffs in the list of tokens

in the game. But never do they ever use

that ever again.

I paid $25 for this game. What the [ __ ]

man? What the [ __ ]

I think the genre that suffers from the

most amount of design problems is the

rogike genre. A lot of the systems have

to be well thought out, otherwise you

end up having little to no meta

progression. Let me explain real quick

what I mean by that. Meta progression is

simply put the progression of your

tactics as you play through the game.

While a common thing in every game ever,

it is especially an important concept in

rogue lights. Because this genre of

games chimes the most when all the cool

and wacky options are common. Let me

give you an example of this concept

taking place. We'll use Slay the Spire

for this example. But don't worry, you

don't have to know the game to

understand what I'm trying to portray.

All right, let's start a new run. I feel

like doing the assassin today. Going to

try to take out the elite on the left.

Instantly, there are some interesting

options. Triple poison would be powerful

against the elite, though the dagger

spray would be best for crowds. I chose

the dagger spray. Once again, powerful

choices. The poison would be good, but I

can't pass up on that guaranteed value.

Oh, wow. Double damage. I'm definitely

doubling down on that. Elite time. The

double damage is crazy. And I get out

almost scratchless because of it. I'm

not too confident, so I decide to avoid

the super elite. And holy [ __ ] does it

work out in my favor. This is a

gamecher. I simply can't pass that up.

Oh man, now I have to think far in the

future. I got quite the aggressive deck.

Maybe I should go for something

defensive. I'm upgrading the upgrade

card. The snowballing begins. Another

elite in the way. But now I'm super confident.

confident.

Holy mama. Now we're cooking with liquid

propane. My nipples are turning orange.

I'm turning on the turbo thrusters.

Let's get

And with an upgrade like that, the run

goes pretty smoothly from there until

the two hands where I [ __ ] up and then

I died at the heart, which is the secret

final boss of the game. I want you to

notice though how my decision-m changed

drastically depending on what I got. And

at no moment was I ever bored by the

loot. That's meta progression done

right. And that decision-m had a

directly visible and powerful effect on

the run. I became significantly more

confident as I progressed. Now, let's

look at how DD2 does its meta

progression. All right, new run chapter

3. Because it's the hardest one in the

game. All right, it took 20 minutes, but

we made it to the first inn. I used some

secret strategies to get some candles

for later. Let's check the store. M. Not

much. Going to get the chance for

whiskey item. Never saw these things

work, but if it triggers twice, it'll be

worth the price, I think. I hope. Well,

slow start with a little on the store.

Cool trinket available though. 30

minutes in. Let's start this run. What?

What? What?

What?

What the [ __ ] Okay, so remember the

secret strategy that I mentioned? Well,

they patched it, but not in a good way.

We'll come back to this later, but for

now, I have a point to make, so we're

just going to keep going. First fight.

Not good. Well, the loot sucks ass.

Second fight, creature den. Shop

discount on delivery. Okay, hopefully

the store won't suck this time. Third

fight. Wow, four gold and a [ __ ]

trinket. You may as well have given me

nothing. Jurgen table. As much as I know

I shouldn't, that's a double

relationship point for free. I think I

can pull this off. I just can't roll a

ghoul on the second fight. All right,

looks good. Sort of. It'll be slow, but

No. God, [ __ ] it, man. Now I'm going to

leave with no torch and no relationship

points. You know what? Sure. Whatever.

Do your thing, buddy. I didn't want to

see where I'm going anyway. Lights

overrated. We should blow up the sun.

Well, that sucked ass. And the trinket

sucks, too. I don't know. Maybe the shop

will be better. As useful as the loot

would be, I think this relationship

might be salvageable if I retreat and

get good luck at the shop. Oh, the first

good piece of loot took long enough. God

damn cash. Please be something good. I

have a point to make here.

Ain't no way in hell that I got this

piece of garbage. You can't make this

[ __ ] up. What the [ __ ] Well, the

fishmonger gloves are okay.

Unfortunately, I didn't choose any bleed

characters. Another set of dog ass

trinkets. Can't use it because no

disease, but oh well, maybe I'll get one

later. They should put in a mechanic

that allows you to go shopping for

diseases in the local bathroom. And

finally, the inn. Okay, the store sucks,

but there's some relationship stuff.

Maybe I can make this work. All right,

math time. Let's see here. [Music]

[Music]

Well, that's probably one of the worst

ones out there. That's unfortunate.

It's a time for gambling.

Actually, you know what? I'm just going

to Google this. All right. Yeah, it's

gambling. All right. and might serve at

some point down the road, I guess. But

once again, more Gambalino. I'm googling

this. I refuse to play this on its own

terms. Well, it's a chance for something

good. And of course, it's ineffective

against bosses. That'd be too good for

this game. God forbid we have a sense of

power scaling in a rogike game. I'm also

going to go ahead and guess that some

things are also bosses, but not named as

such. Made it to the end. It's time for

the gambling. Gambling. Gambling.

Gabler. Holy moly. No negative

relationships. I got to just seize it.

Seize it. No negative relationships.

This is the only chance I'll get. I'm

jumping on that boss like a homing

missile. And they frenzied. It's

frenzied. It's They got the frenzy buff.

It's the frenzy buffs. It's the frenzy

buff on a boss. Okay, this can only go

well. Not bad. Seriously, that's it.

Okay. When in doubt, robbery. Man, more

garbage. Whatever. The stuff I got is

good enough anyway. I just threw that

away and I got it back. You can't make

this [ __ ] up. What the [ __ ] Okay, that

run had to have been the worst possible

start I ever had in the game. We'll go

over the secret strategy and what

happened there way later in the video.

As for the rest of the run, well, it

went pretty well. Well, at least until

the exemplar.

And in the northeastern corner, we got

the gatekeeper, Saran Enda. An enemy so

controversial and aided that the book

for him went down for an entire week.

[ __ ] this guy. I [ __ ] hate this guy.

I'm going to suck his ass.

Nah, I'm kidding. I of course memorized

the boss by this point. Fortunately,

he's one of the many bosses that you can

reliably keep under control if you

understand and plan ahead for their

mechanics. Unlike the focused fault,

which is a boss that I have spotlighted

so many times by now. You can know this

boss. You can even plan ahead for it and

everything could still go out the

window. None of the other bosses are

like this. Crazy thing is in the end of

that run, it came down to a 60% chance

coin flip. If the bleed landed, I would

have done enough damage to win, and it

didn't. That run was 4 hours, by the

way. I could go on, seriously. But to

get to the point, the center of a lot of

my decisions through and through was the

relationship system. It's just too

invasive and too punishing with the

punishment severely outweighing the

positives. It was through the intricate

understanding of the game's mechanisms

and chances, but mostly just luck, that

I was able to recover things. I knew

when I didn't get a negative

relationship that I really had to press

the advantage on that one and push it

straight to the boss. I got pretty lucky

with the drops there, too. None of them

are good, per se, but there's some of

the few that make a visible difference,

and honestly, that's about the best that

you can get in this game. Anyway, with

the 4hour run down the drain, I at least

got myself some candles. Let's see what

I can spend him on now. Um, 5% chance

for a death blow resist. Okay, how about

a new subass? I don't know what it

involves, so I guess I have to unlock it

to know. We'll find out what it has in

the party creation screen. For now, I

got some more left over. Time to gamble,

my guess. Nothing good. Well, let's

check out the subass. Oh, it's pretty

bad. Wow. I actually I can't even

imagine a place where this would work.

Did they make this for the purpose of

being bad? What? Right. I did some

googling around to see if you can make

this viable. No, there's no way to make

this work. Well, 4 hours of work and

You know, if I was playing a phone game

by now, I would have received three

1-hour limited offers that show up every

day, an email that involves corporate

gaslighting, and a personalized threat

from the game CEO. And that phone game

would have been way more fun. I paid $25

for this game. 25. I paid 25. I paid

$25. 25. I paid $25. Meta progression

here doesn't exist in the same way that

it did for Slay the Spire. In here, I

was just trying to avoid the punishments

as opposed to the constant excitement

that I had over every choice in Slay the

Spire. My ability to recover that mess

relied heavily on some math and my

understanding of the game's

uncomplicated intermechanisms. I fully

understand that this game is meant to be

difficult. But you shouldn't need this

much foundational understanding of a

game to be able to recover and the first

game didn't. Notice as well how every

interaction with the stores that I had

was always just me buying every

relationship item I can find and that

chance item never worked. This is one of

the elements of the problems with the

game. It's a rogue light where the loot

is just not that exciting. And keep in

mind I'm playing on my main save file. I

have all the cool stuff unlocked here.

Interesting action opponent.

Unfortunately for you, I will now use my

special secret move, napal grenade.

I can speak from experience that it is

definitely way worse if you're playing

casually or god forbid just wasn't lucky

enough to unlock the good [ __ ] at the

gacha machine. Not to mention if you

don't have the relationship items

unlocked, which will set you back 10 to

20 hours of gameplay, then you can't

deal with the relationship system at all

and you're just at the mercy of RNG

through and through. This loot factor is

what makes or breaks a good roglike

game. It has to be well thought out. It

has to matter and be visible in its

effects. Making [ __ ] loot for the sake

of having something that is bad is

definitely one way of doing it, but it's

far from the best. Rogue lights are made

to be infinitely replayable. If the

majority of the loot sucks ass, runs

will feel repetitive very quickly. In

Slay the Spire, the quantity of the loot

isn't that high, and yet no two runs

feel the same. That's because every

piece of loot has a significant and

visible effect. You never feel like

you're making a bad choice until way

later on when you have a build already

going on. In Darkest Dungeon 2, there's

no making a build later on. You can

change subasses, but it comes at an

extreme price. Not to mention, some

subasses just outright do not work

depending on what character you're

running, which sucks twice as much when

the entire game is heavily focused on

planning ahead. The overwhelming

majority of the loot has little to no

visible effect. It's like they took the

map mechanic of Slay the Spire without

understanding what made it good in the

first place. As a result of the majority

of the loot sucking ass, your strategy,

although might change in shape, always

takes the same path. I've been playing

the same thing for a while. I think I'll

try something new for once. There we go.

Much better. Look at that. It's

practically a new team. Man, I'm so glad

this game allows for diverse team

building. Why did they ever think that

it was a good idea to make it so that

you needed more than 5 hours to fully

unlock a new character? What a [ __ ] up

thing to do.

My strategy approaching the run was

pretty much the same as it ever was.

build the relationships so you don't

have to deal with them at the mountain.

And outside of everything that you can

buy at the shop, it's the most

perceptible upgrade that you can get. So

why buy anything else? Inherently, rogue

lights motivate you to play them

repeatedly over and over till you build

your knowledge on the game's most

effective tactics. And if it's not well

thought out, then the conclusion is

going to be something along the lines of

using more or less the same strategy

over and over again. In this case, it's

the same two heroes over and over again.

None of them are particularly powerful,

except the plague doctor, but the

synergy they both have dominate some of

the game's most inherent problems and

problematic battles. A lot of curve

balls get thrown at you in this game.

So, you're motivated to build one team

that can deal with everything. And these

two are the universally agreed to be the

best because they have the only

abilities that can deal with those

mechanics effectively. Other characters

can benefit heavily from having some of

these abilities, but for whatever

reason, only these two have them. For

example, Darkest Dungeon 2 has some

strict rules around healing, both for

health and stress. They vary based on

the ability, but are usually something

along the lines of you can't heal until

you're one foot in the grave. Saying

some stupid [ __ ] like can only heal when

they're below 30% HP, which for low

health heroes or against high damaging

enemies, and there's a lot of them, is

just tons of fun. Tons of fun to play

around with. Tons of fun. Holy [ __ ] Is

he below 30% yet? Can I use a band-aid?

Do I have permission to kiss his boo

boo? Will the ref allow a kiss to his

boo boo right now? [ __ ] me. What a

[ __ ] got to do to get some

healing in this game. You know, as an

avid Lovecraft reader myself, I have to

say nothing spells Eldrich like American

health insurance. Imagine being a priest

dedicated to God and supporting your

teammates out in the front. One of your

dudes just got shot in the liver.

Quickly, you get to doing what you do

best, making a prayer and a donation to

the local church to get your dude out of

God's prematurely imminent reach. But

after you do your part, God then says,

"Sorry, bro. Request denied. Credit card

declined. Your dude's not close enough

to the grave to qualify for divine

intervention. His ass is not grass. At

least one of those cheeks need to turn

green and spiky for one of the Lord's

angels to then allow him access to a

magnanimous critical zero heal.

Wow. God damn. He had the healer tagged

in the party creation screen by the way.

God damn.

That [ __ ] was crazy. Leave some healing

for the rest of us, buddy. [ __ ] her.

Even with stress healing, you have to be

at least halfway to a heart attack to

qualify for your teammates to comfort

you. I can tell though exactly how this

change came to be. In fact, I can spell

it in detail. I have a hidden talent

when it comes to Red Hook Studios. A

particular mental ability that I know

how to use better than anyone else. That

ability is called making [ __ ] up and

being right at the end of the day. You

see, I'm a bit of a Red Hook Studios

whisperer. I know how to read them

better than anyone else. [Music]

[Music]

Darkest Dungeon 1 has a very long

history of controversial balance

changes. There's a lot to say and even

more to point out, but this video is

already as long as half of the tutorials

of the second game. So, I'm just going

to get to the point. Whenever people

developed an efficient way to play the

game, the developers would do something

to disrupt it. They tunnel visioned on

this. So much so that they forgot

several aspects on how the game works.

In the first game, you would usually

take more damage than you were able to

heal. So, stalling became the main

strategy behind any optimized way to

play the game. You simply would

purposefully waste your turns or buy

more time by stunning the enemy to let

your healers do their thing and

therefore prepare you for the next

battle. Well, they added a reinforcement

mechanic so that when the game detected

that you were stalling, it would first

inflict stress damage on your team and

therefore you had to spend more time

healing. Then, it would call a bunch of

new enemies to the fight. The developers

were so aggressive with their

implementation that they forgot about

accuracy in the game. Because if you

weren't trying to stall, but just

happened to miss some attacks, the game

would still think that you were trying

to stall. So sometimes you would get

caught in an infinite loop of trying to

kill the monsters, but miss a couple of

attacks, and then the game would call

reinforcements, an entire group of goons

ready to welcome you to the party. So

the game right now is half playing the

game and half tiptoeing around the

anti-stalling system that they put in to

try and recover from the damage that you

take. How does this connect to Darkest

Dungeon 2? You might wonder. Well, they

really hated this sort of way of playing

the game that they overcorrected for it

in Darkest Dungeon 2. Not only does it

take two turns to pull off a single stun

now, not only does the average enemy

have quite a bit of stun resistance, not

only have stuns been effectively removed

from your arsenal, existing very rarely

in certain abilities. Not only is there

an anti-stalling mechanic, but they also

put strict rules on when you can heal

your party along with ability cooldowns,

saying some stupid [ __ ] like you got to

be one foot in the grave before you can

patch up those wounds. This sort of

approach became iconic for me. I call it

[Music]

Dear Red Hook Studios, you put two in

the name but forgot to put two in the

game. It's not a sequel. It's a spin-off

game. And you already scammed me into

buying it. So, please let me have some

fun. Let me play the game without

arbitrary limitations. And the next time

you make a rog light, let people enjoy

it the way God intended. A power fantasy

with way too many layers to keep track

of, but when I manage to, I win. And the

next time you want to discourage

stalling as a strategy, which I can

understand, stalling isn't exactly a fun

strategy to use, please instead consider

allowing for a more viable and

funoriented strategy and/or design

rather than limiting the hubris of the

human mind using arbitrary restrictions.

It wouldn't be called game development

if the perfect solution was arbitrary

limitations. That's just called the

entirety of the Mongolian politics

system. Now, I'm not superstitious and

I'm not a licensed therapist. I lost the

license the moment I booted up this game

because I needed a therapist from

playing it. But if I was a therapist, I

would diagnose Red Hook Studios with a

big stupid syndrome because they then

put in two overpowered characters that

more than overshadowed any other

character in the game. Go look up guides

on beating bosses. The overwhelming

majority has a plague doctor and a man

at arms on the team. And so, just as

history is inevitable, Red Hook Studios

evil gaze would see resistance from the

people and from the developers

themselves. Because for whatever reason,

they decided to give the most

overpowered healing ability to a damage

dealer. That's right. In Darkest Dungeon

2, they said, "Fuck it. The best healer

isn't just a damage dealer, but it's

also a doctor." They say an apple a day

keeps the doctor away. Quite the stark

difference that the consumption of an

apple can do to a man. You can tell they

took some when they were making the

first game because in that game the

doctor did no healing, only damage

dealing. Then as the apple was slowly

phased out of the diet, they made the

doctor not just a good damage dealer,

not just an overpowered healer, but also

a really good tank given enough beer and

homosexual tendencies. They like to lie

to you in this game, saying [ __ ] like

healer in the tags of the characters,

but there should have only ever been

three tags in the entire game.

Defective, viable, and vestal.

introducing the most overpowered team in

the game. Vanguard, man at arms, really

good at producing tokens. Alchemist,

plague doctor, really good at turning

those tokens into health. And while you

can substitute the other two for a

couple other characters, I typically use

yellow highway man because he has the

only ability in the game that can deal

with enemy critical tokens and vestal

mostly as a joke. I'm sure you're

wondering what would happen if you don't

take man at arms or plague doctor. I

made that mistake once and saw the game

turn very quickly from a turn-based

semi-rogite to a visual novel about the

many mistakes I made during the party

creation screen. Now, you might remember

because I don't somewhere in the intro

of the video I said that the game

degraded in some sections such as the

token system. The thing is, while the

combat feels better because it's more

consistent due to the token system, the

way things are balanced is that the

stuns are rarely worth it and disrupting

enemy rank isn't worthwhile anymore.

Everything around the combat has been

practically removed, so everything just

boils down into a DPS race. Maybe this

token system would have been better if

it had more nuance, but as it stands

currently, there's so many different

tokens when all the ones you need to

care about are up here. In the first

game, you had so many different ways of

disrupting the enemy. Stuns were the

dominant way because it was also the

most guaranteed way, but you were able

to move them out of their position,

which would cause them to use a weak

attack, and so on. This is no longer the

case in the second game. Stuns are more

or less removed, and nearly all enemies

can use any ability from any position,

especially the dangerous enemies. They

tend to have increased stun resistance,

too. It's like they want the game to be

nothing more than a DPS race. The evil

gaze of Red Hook Studios had struck once

again. This time, it targeted the design

of the game. The token system may feel

better initially, but the novelty wears

out quickly enough when there's no room

for varied play styles, and the player

numbers reflect this, too. You're forced

into a DPS race through and through. And

if you don't like it, go play the first

game. That's a sentiment I've seen get

relayed quite a lot in the reviews. I

can understand why they made it like

this. They wanted stalling to be a dead

strategy. But the thing is, nobody

stalled in the first game out of fun. It

was a necessary evil because on average,

you took more damage than you were able

to heal. They've overfocused and tried

to solve a problem that has deep roots

into the design altogether, and in the

process took a lot of shortcuts as well.

Regardless of how many patches they put

out, be they minor or major. There's

nothing that can fix this aside from a

categorical overhaul and we will explore

that a bit. So to serve the purpose of

an ultimate understanding on why things

went sideways, let's talk about one of

the most important and run-ending

mechanics of Darkest Dungeon 2, gay porn.

The relationship system was initially

the main selling point of the game, but

when they realized that selling

homoerotic Lovecraftian fanfictions as a

turn-based pseudo rogue light might not

be popular on the market, they slowly

patched it across the years to be more

low-key. Now, instead of an 11minute

unskippable cutscene of Highway Man and

Crusader making out in the showers

playing the moment you boot up the game,

you instead get one poured magazine and

two pieces of a shuder. Man, I love me

some game mechanics. This is great. This is amazing. I want to [ __ ] kill

is amazing. I want to [ __ ] kill myself. Taking inspiration from Breeders

myself. Taking inspiration from Breeders of the Nephilim, they added a

of the Nephilim, they added a relationship system that's randomized,

relationship system that's randomized, but quite heavily biased towards making

but quite heavily biased towards making everyone hate each other. Imagine

everyone hate each other. Imagine yourself in a team building exercise

yourself in a team building exercise about who could make it to the coffee

about who could make it to the coffee machine first. It wasn't immediately

machine first. It wasn't immediately clear, but when a gun got pulled out on

clear, but when a gun got pulled out on you by one of your colleagues in an

you by one of your colleagues in an attempt to slow you down and win the

attempt to slow you down and win the exercise, you knew that the spectrum was

exercise, you knew that the spectrum was about to be the least of your worries.

about to be the least of your worries. You tried to take it on a stride and

You tried to take it on a stride and make jokes about it. But unfortunately,

make jokes about it. But unfortunately, your not so socially intelligent

your not so socially intelligent coworker didn't take it well, harboring

coworker didn't take it well, harboring resentment that would only reveal itself

resentment that would only reveal itself when you made it to the final boss,

when you made it to the final boss, becoming an imminent and clear reason

becoming an imminent and clear reason for the failure of the entire run. In

for the failure of the entire run. In similar ways, that is exactly how the

similar ways, that is exactly how the relationship system works in Darkest

relationship system works in Darkest Dungeon 2. And until you unlock the

Dungeon 2. And until you unlock the items that allow you to control it,

items that allow you to control it, which is going to set you back anywhere

which is going to set you back anywhere between 1 to 20 hours, depending on how

between 1 to 20 hours, depending on how lucky you are, you're at the complete

lucky you are, you're at the complete unapologetic mercy of the random number

unapologetic mercy of the random number generator of this game. Here's some of

generator of this game. Here's some of the things that typically take place in

the things that typically take place in the shadowy realms of Crack Ass Basement

the shadowy realms of Crack Ass Basement 2. I mean, um, uh, I mean, uh, Darkest

2. I mean, um, uh, I mean, uh, Darkest Dungeon 2. More often than not, one of

Dungeon 2. More often than not, one of the characters is going to be a complete

the characters is going to be a complete coward, consistently begging you to

coward, consistently begging you to retreat at the sight of any roadside

retreat at the sight of any roadside battle. So, of course, when you're

battle. So, of course, when you're trying to fight to get more money, to

trying to fight to get more money, to get more buffs to fight the final boss,

get more buffs to fight the final boss, the scared dumbass is going to be ass

the scared dumbass is going to be ass mad that you're not a fellow [ __ ]

mad that you're not a fellow [ __ ] yourself. This has its perks, meaning

yourself. This has its perks, meaning that you can avoid battles sometimes. Of

that you can avoid battles sometimes. Of course, avoiding battles is never good

course, avoiding battles is never good for you. But after the 20th hour of

for you. But after the 20th hour of watching this wacky ass clack ass

watching this wacky ass clack ass Maserati move at a snail's pace,

Maserati move at a snail's pace, sometimes I really just want to get it

sometimes I really just want to get it over with. And for whatever undetermined

over with. And for whatever undetermined unknowable reason, sometimes when you go

unknowable reason, sometimes when you go to heal or buff someone that badly needs

to heal or buff someone that badly needs it, someone else might get mad that you

it, someone else might get mad that you didn't choose them, even though they're

didn't choose them, even though they're a-okay. And the other [ __ ] is having a

a-okay. And the other [ __ ] is having a three course fullyfledged conversation

three course fullyfledged conversation with the Grim Reaper itself. In most of

with the Grim Reaper itself. In most of my experience, when a certain duo hits

my experience, when a certain duo hits seven out of 20 towards each other, they

seven out of 20 towards each other, they start name calling each other midfight,

start name calling each other midfight, spreading gossip in the wagon that the

spreading gossip in the wagon that the other one has League of Legends

other one has League of Legends installed on their computer. And when

installed on their computer. And when they stop playing the gossip game, not

they stop playing the gossip game, not only do they become completely incapable

only do they become completely incapable of not insulting each other for 12

of not insulting each other for 12 seconds, but they outright backstab each

seconds, but they outright backstab each other midfight. The crazy part is that

other midfight. The crazy part is that the backstab isn't even the worst part

the backstab isn't even the worst part about this. The worst part about this is

about this. The worst part about this is when a critical commonly used ability

when a critical commonly used ability becomes the center focus of the negative

becomes the center focus of the negative relationship. For example, consider the

relationship. For example, consider the following which unfolded in one of my

following which unfolded in one of my runs. This is Budika. Bodika prefers to

runs. This is Budika. Bodika prefers to be in the front of the fight trading

be in the front of the fight trading hits and standing toe-to-toe with the

hits and standing toe-to-toe with the enemy. And this is Sajit. Sajit is my

enemy. And this is Sajit. Sajit is my favorite. I keep him around to meet a

favorite. I keep him around to meet a meta diversity quota. He's supposed to

meta diversity quota. He's supposed to be a healer. He has the healer tag in

be a healer. He has the healer tag in the character selection screen, but

the character selection screen, but realistically he more often than not

realistically he more often than not fails to heal, doing more damage to the

fails to heal, doing more damage to the squad than the enemy boss does. Sajit is

squad than the enemy boss does. Sajit is from India, and Bodika's fourth great

from India, and Bodika's fourth great grandpa was born from Pakistan. So

grandpa was born from Pakistan. So naturally, they can't go 2 minutes

naturally, they can't go 2 minutes without shit-talking each other. The

without shit-talking each other. The breaking point, however, was when Bodika

breaking point, however, was when Bodika saw Sajit perform a critical zero heal.

saw Sajit perform a critical zero heal. Critical heals are supposed to double

Critical heals are supposed to double the amount of healing done. However, 0 *

the amount of healing done. However, 0 * 2 is still zero. Effectively

2 is still zero. Effectively accomplishing the equivalent of watching

accomplishing the equivalent of watching paint dry on two times speed. Bodika

paint dry on two times speed. Bodika upon seeing such an extreme level of

upon seeing such an extreme level of incompetence became envious of Sajjit.

incompetence became envious of Sajjit. Whenever Sajit performs a sudo heal,

Whenever Sajit performs a sudo heal, Bodika enviously asks, "What? How?"

Bodika enviously asks, "What? How?" Taking her eyes off the enemy to watch

Taking her eyes off the enemy to watch the sudu heal take place, causing the

the sudu heal take place, causing the next attack to have a reduced chance of

next attack to have a reduced chance of landing. On the opposite end, Sajit,

landing. On the opposite end, Sajit, whenever Bodika catastrophically bodys

whenever Bodika catastrophically bodys slams the enemy, thinks to himself,

slams the enemy, thinks to himself, "God, I wish that was me." and gets a

"God, I wish that was me." and gets a little stressed out over it. By the way,

little stressed out over it. By the way, I'm dead serious. According to the

I'm dead serious. According to the relationship system, this all

relationship system, this all canonically happens in the game. And now

canonically happens in the game. And now for a positive relationship example. Two

for a positive relationship example. Two men alone in the shower complimented

men alone in the shower complimented each other's balls. And from there, a

each other's balls. And from there, a deathdeying sexually motivated

deathdeying sexually motivated relationship was formed, turning any mal

relationship was formed, turning any mal inent towards the enemy to be a little

inent towards the enemy to be a little bit more than homosexually charged with

bit more than homosexually charged with certain abilities causing them to be

certain abilities causing them to be more steamed up than usual. A

more steamed up than usual. A Lovecraftian doomsday narrative turns

Lovecraftian doomsday narrative turns into a gay erotica fanfiction with every

into a gay erotica fanfiction with every slap on the ass causing the next hit to

slap on the ass causing the next hit to do more damage than the last. One of the

do more damage than the last. One of the meta strategies for most of the campaign

meta strategies for most of the campaign bosses is homosexual tendencies. It's

bosses is homosexual tendencies. It's been subtle, but the other two party

been subtle, but the other two party members no longer turn their back to the

members no longer turn their back to the gay outback duo in fear that a 50%

gay outback duo in fear that a 50% damage buff might land uninvited. Now,

damage buff might land uninvited. Now, I'm not gay, but maybe I should be, cuz

I'm not gay, but maybe I should be, cuz it seems like a pretty good DPS

it seems like a pretty good DPS strategy. It doesn't take a genius to

strategy. It doesn't take a genius to see that a system like this is a step

see that a system like this is a step away from a Lovecraftian narrative.

away from a Lovecraftian narrative. Lovecraftian stories in general are

Lovecraftian stories in general are meant to be about a hopeless situation,

meant to be about a hopeless situation, about the fear of the unknown, about

about the fear of the unknown, about secondhand accounts of people who

secondhand accounts of people who experience the indecipherable, the

experience the indecipherable, the ineffable, the transdimensional. But

ineffable, the transdimensional. But when the team keeps flirting in the

when the team keeps flirting in the middle of a run, well, it takes you out

middle of a run, well, it takes you out of the immersion and takes a step closer

of the immersion and takes a step closer to being a comedy game. It's not

to being a comedy game. It's not necessarily something I dislike, but as

necessarily something I dislike, but as you've seen so far, and eventually will,

you've seen so far, and eventually will, there's a lot of additions that just

there's a lot of additions that just don't fit into a game like this. I feel

don't fit into a game like this. I feel pretentious saying this, but it

pretentious saying this, but it genuinely seems to me that whatever the

genuinely seems to me that whatever the creative vision was for the game, it

creative vision was for the game, it wasn't well thought out. I have to say

wasn't well thought out. I have to say though, the design choice to have it so

though, the design choice to have it so that the relationship system is outside

that the relationship system is outside of your control completely until you

of your control completely until you unlock the items that allow you to try

unlock the items that allow you to try to control it after 10 hours or so of

to control it after 10 hours or so of gameplay. And that's assuming you're

gameplay. And that's assuming you're lucky at the slot machine. It's just a

lucky at the slot machine. It's just a terrible idea. The relationship system

terrible idea. The relationship system is just too biased. You lose two points

is just too biased. You lose two points every time you lose relationship points.

every time you lose relationship points. You start one point shy of being in the

You start one point shy of being in the middle. It tells you when you're going

middle. It tells you when you're going to lose points from random actions, but

to lose points from random actions, but it doesn't tell you when you're going to

it doesn't tell you when you're going to gain points. Seriously, I haven't even

gain points. Seriously, I haven't even mentioned the random effects it has that

mentioned the random effects it has that have no way of being predicted. This

have no way of being predicted. This system is a way to throw a curveball

system is a way to throw a curveball onto the player. But in a game all about

onto the player. But in a game all about curve balls, well, it just doesn't make

curve balls, well, it just doesn't make sense and feels nothing more than a

sense and feels nothing more than a slippery slope. Lose too many points and

slippery slope. Lose too many points and the relationship will never improve

the relationship will never improve because they'll always be mad at each

because they'll always be mad at each other. The only way being out of this is

other. The only way being out of this is to first get lucky at the gambling

to first get lucky at the gambling machine and then get lucky at the store

machine and then get lucky at the store and have the items show up to be able to

and have the items show up to be able to use them on your party members. It's

use them on your party members. It's just too haphazardly put together with

just too haphazardly put together with even the writing being rough around the

even the writing being rough around the edges. Some of the writing of this game

edges. Some of the writing of this game is just like

is just like boutika no likey when anyone but budika

boutika no likey when anyone but budika touch salad ass.

touch salad ass. Even the items being questionable at

Even the items being questionable at best on how they improve the

best on how they improve the relationships. And don't even get me

relationships. And don't even get me started about how they will just

started about how they will just randomly lock you out of using them.

randomly lock you out of using them. Seriously, the alcoholic drinks, the

Seriously, the alcoholic drinks, the only way to fight back against the bias

only way to fight back against the bias of the game, can just get locked out

of the game, can just get locked out randomly. There are ways to fight back

randomly. There are ways to fight back against the lock, but that's even more

against the lock, but that's even more luck. You know what? Sure, whatever.

luck. You know what? Sure, whatever. I've been trying to avoid talking about

I've been trying to avoid talking about the progression system because I'm

the progression system because I'm trying to end this video and move on to

trying to end this video and move on to something that's more fun to talk about

something that's more fun to talk about than this mess. But we're already one

than this mess. But we're already one homoerotic fanfiction in, so why not go

homoerotic fanfiction in, so why not go the 9 miles? So now I'm going to talk

the 9 miles? So now I'm going to talk about something that invokes a trauma

about something that invokes a trauma response every time I interact with it.

response every time I interact with it. Because right after I make the mistake

Because right after I make the mistake of choosing anything that isn't

of choosing anything that isn't Man-at-Arms or Plague Doctor, the next 2

Man-at-Arms or Plague Doctor, the next 2 hours of gameplay turn into a very long-

hours of gameplay turn into a very long- winded, unskippable cutscene that leads

winded, unskippable cutscene that leads me directly to it. The altar of hope and

me directly to it. The altar of hope and the progression system of this game.

the progression system of this game. Hell, that's the progression system. You

Hell, that's the progression system. You get money and you spend it on a door

get money and you spend it on a door that leads you to three toilets, each

that leads you to three toilets, each one facing the other. It's so full of

one facing the other. It's so full of traps. Check this out. This is all real

traps. Check this out. This is all real and in the game. Unlock heroes that are

and in the game. Unlock heroes that are nerfed to the ground. Unlock subasses

nerfed to the ground. Unlock subasses that contribute nothing and sometimes

that contribute nothing and sometimes make the hero do literally nothing for

make the hero do literally nothing for the rest of the game. There's so many

the rest of the game. There's so many traps here cuz you've got heroes like

traps here cuz you've got heroes like the leper that you think, "Oh, cool.

the leper that you think, "Oh, cool. They brought him back." No, no, they

They brought him back." No, no, they didn't. What they brought back was a

didn't. What they brought back was a reminder of a better time. You can

reminder of a better time. You can unlock cosmetics that will reset after

unlock cosmetics that will reset after every run. You can unlock torches that

every run. You can unlock torches that make the game more difficult and give

make the game more difficult and give you nothing in return. You know, while

you nothing in return. You know, while the narrative of the game focuses on the

the narrative of the game focuses on the mistakes of the protagonist, I'm

mistakes of the protagonist, I'm starting to think that the design

starting to think that the design choices for this game might be an

choices for this game might be an allegory for an abusive relationship.

allegory for an abusive relationship. Because even on a successful run, which

Because even on a successful run, which will set you back a good 3 hours, you

will set you back a good 3 hours, you will get a total of 50 candles and a

will get a total of 50 candles and a sober reminder that some people paid $40

sober reminder that some people paid $40 for this game. Half the [ __ ] in this

for this game. Half the [ __ ] in this game requires the candle currency in the

game requires the candle currency in the hundreds. You can beat the entire game

hundreds. You can beat the entire game and still not have half the things in

and still not have half the things in this game unlocked. When combined with

this game unlocked. When combined with the fact that the only consistent way to

the fact that the only consistent way to handle the relationship system is by

handle the relationship system is by gambling away at the gotcha machines to

gambling away at the gotcha machines to unlock the few and only items that allow

unlock the few and only items that allow you to reliably control it and then have

you to reliably control it and then have them not show up at the shops on a run

them not show up at the shops on a run that's about to reach a boss. You have a

that's about to reach a boss. You have a recipe for a mostly positive rated game

recipe for a mostly positive rated game on Steam. That's 5% away from a mixed

on Steam. That's 5% away from a mixed rating. About 90% of the items you

rating. About 90% of the items you unlock are going to be hot garbage.

unlock are going to be hot garbage. We're talking 10 different versions of

We're talking 10 different versions of the same trinket. three versions of

the same trinket. three versions of every other trinket, three versions of

every other trinket, three versions of every trophy, and nine reasons why I

every trophy, and nine reasons why I should have stopped playing this game

should have stopped playing this game forever ago. Not to mention, you have to

forever ago. Not to mention, you have to unlock hero skills by finding a shrine

unlock hero skills by finding a shrine by pure luck out in the wild. And every

by pure luck out in the wild. And every hero needs five shrines to unlock all of

hero needs five shrines to unlock all of their skills. There's 12 heroes in

their skills. There's 12 heroes in total, which is going to require a total

total, which is going to require a total of 60 visits to the shrine. There's also

of 60 visits to the shrine. There's also the bounty hunter, which you can unlock

the bounty hunter, which you can unlock for a chance to play as him. The game

for a chance to play as him. The game never says it, but you can never take

never says it, but you can never take him to the mountain. There's quite a few

him to the mountain. There's quite a few places where you're never told what

places where you're never told what you're investing into, like a loot box

you're investing into, like a loot box from any game with a season pass. We're

from any game with a season pass. We're going to need you to pay $12 for a

going to need you to pay $12 for a chance at a naked skin of a man, but the

chance at a naked skin of a man, but the skin is holographic and the chance is

skin is holographic and the chance is below zero. This is of course never

below zero. This is of course never communicated unless forced by law,

communicated unless forced by law, leaving you with a sense of pride and

leaving you with a sense of pride and accomplishment according to a

accomplishment according to a spokesperson. I haven't even mentioned

spokesperson. I haven't even mentioned that they don't let you see what

that they don't let you see what abilities are locked. So, some

abilities are locked. So, some characters like the jester are going to

characters like the jester are going to look really bad until you fully unlock

look really bad until you fully unlock them. There's also a considerable amount

them. There's also a considerable amount of abilities and subasses that are just

of abilities and subasses that are just bad for the sake of being bad. They took

bad for the sake of being bad. They took the same philosophy of making the

the same philosophy of making the trinkets and applied it to the subasses,

trinkets and applied it to the subasses, too. Initially, I was going to sit here

too. Initially, I was going to sit here and critique things with a lot more

and critique things with a lot more detail, but honestly, it's just bad. And

detail, but honestly, it's just bad. And one quick look at the trinkets of the

one quick look at the trinkets of the game spell that story. 10 different

game spell that story. 10 different versions of the same trinket, three of

versions of the same trinket, three of every other trinket, three of even the

every other trinket, three of even the boss trophies. You know, the [ __ ] that

boss trophies. You know, the [ __ ] that you have to work hard to get. And you'd

you have to work hard to get. And you'd think at least that the high rarity

think at least that the high rarity stuff must be really good, but even on

stuff must be really good, but even on the highest rarity, you get garbage like

the highest rarity, you get garbage like this. 20% on a crit and it doesn't even

this. 20% on a crit and it doesn't even affect bosses. Here's a quick look at

affect bosses. Here's a quick look at the math of that. So, a high base

the math of that. So, a high base critical chance is about 15%. That means

critical chance is about 15%. That means every time you use this ability, there's

every time you use this ability, there's a 15% chance of landing a critical, and

a 15% chance of landing a critical, and after landing the critical, there's a

after landing the critical, there's a 20% chance of the trinket working.

20% chance of the trinket working. Again, a reminder that this doesn't

Again, a reminder that this doesn't affect bosses. that averages to about 3%

affect bosses. that averages to about 3% chance for it to go off at any given

chance for it to go off at any given dice roll, assuming 15% base crit

dice roll, assuming 15% base crit chance. While you can get critical

chance. While you can get critical tokens that guarantee a critical on the

tokens that guarantee a critical on the next hit, but the only consistent way to

next hit, but the only consistent way to do that is to spend a turn to get the

do that is to spend a turn to get the token on Highway Man. And after doing

token on Highway Man. And after doing that, you still need to win the 20%

that, you still need to win the 20% chance for it to go off. That's two

chance for it to go off. That's two turns for a 20% chance. By that point,

turns for a 20% chance. By that point, some characters would have already

some characters would have already killed the ad in question. Anyway, I

killed the ad in question. Anyway, I think I proved my point, and I'm pretty

think I proved my point, and I'm pretty sure an artery just popped. So, let's

sure an artery just popped. So, let's move on to yet another disappointing

move on to yet another disappointing reminder of the people that paid for

reminder of the people that paid for this game, including me. Let me tell you

this game, including me. Let me tell you about the story. It's horrible.

about the story. It's horrible. Horrible. Dog [ __ ] I'm now in chapter 1

Horrible. Dog [ __ ] I'm now in chapter 1 of the game, and the story so far makes

of the game, and the story so far makes no sense. I'm now in chapter 2, and I'm

no sense. I'm now in chapter 2, and I'm pretty sure that the game just called me

pretty sure that the game just called me gay. I'm now in chapter 3 of the game.

gay. I'm now in chapter 3 of the game. The story still makes no sense. I'm now

The story still makes no sense. I'm now in chapter 4. Anyway, the new balloon

in chapter 4. Anyway, the new balloon boss is hard to deal with. I'm now in

boss is hard to deal with. I'm now in the final chapter of the game. The story

the final chapter of the game. The story makes sense but doesn't make sense. You

makes sense but doesn't make sense. You get two pictures per story drop per

get two pictures per story drop per campaign mission and that's all you get

campaign mission and that's all you get for the visuals. The entire story is

for the visuals. The entire story is told backwards in pieces with only one

told backwards in pieces with only one major story bit per mission. There's

major story bit per mission. There's only five missions and my team keeps

only five missions and my team keeps [ __ ] each other when I'm trying to

[ __ ] each other when I'm trying to get immersed.

get immersed. [ __ ]

[ __ ] Hello everyone, Hemorrhoids here back at

Hello everyone, Hemorrhoids here back at it again with another happy analysis of

it again with another happy analysis of the hit game popular amongst the teens,

the hit game popular amongst the teens, the sequel to one of my favorite

the sequel to one of my favorite turn-based games of all time. You know

turn-based games of all time. You know it already. Say it with me. Darkest

it already. Say it with me. Darkest Dungeon 2. In today's examination, we're

Dungeon 2. In today's examination, we're going to check out how the story is told

going to check out how the story is told and what it's trying to say. And I'm

and what it's trying to say. And I'm going to do that while trying my best to

going to do that while trying my best to follow my doctor's orders and be as

follow my doctor's orders and be as happy as I possibly can to avoid popping

happy as I possibly can to avoid popping another artery. How about an exercise?

another artery. How about an exercise? Just you, me, a severe lack of

Just you, me, a severe lack of supervision, and the bitter absence of

supervision, and the bitter absence of the $25 I spent on this game. Open up

the $25 I spent on this game. Open up Notepad on your computer. Now, I'm going

Notepad on your computer. Now, I'm going to play the entire intro of Darkest

to play the entire intro of Darkest Dungeon 1 and then two. And after each

Dungeon 1 and then two. And after each intro, I want you to write what you

intro, I want you to write what you think the story is about in a small

think the story is about in a small paragraph with no outside bias or

paragraph with no outside bias or preconceived notion. Just take the intro

preconceived notion. Just take the intro for what it is. Ready? Here we go.

You remember our venerable house, opulent and imperial, gazing proudly

opulent and imperial, gazing proudly from its stoic burge above the moore.

from its stoic burge above the moore. I lived all my years in that ancient

I lived all my years in that ancient rumor shadowed manner,

rumor shadowed manner, fattened by decadence and luxury.

fattened by decadence and luxury. And yet I began to tire of conventional

And yet I began to tire of conventional extravagance.

extravagance. Singular unsettling tales suggested the

Singular unsettling tales suggested the mansion itself was a gateway to some

mansion itself was a gateway to some fabulous and unnameable power.

fabulous and unnameable power. With relic and ritual, I bent every

With relic and ritual, I bent every effort towards the excavation and

effort towards the excavation and recovery of those long buried secrets,

recovery of those long buried secrets, exhausting what remained of our family

exhausting what remained of our family fortune on sworthy workmen and sturdy

fortune on sworthy workmen and sturdy shovels.

shovels. At last, in the salt soaked crags

At last, in the salt soaked crags beneath the lowest foundations, we

beneath the lowest foundations, we unearthed that damnable portal of

unearthed that damnable portal of antivian evil.

Our every step unsettled the ancient earth,

earth, but we were in a realm of death and

but we were in a realm of death and madness.

In the end, I alone fled laughing and wailing through those blackened arcades

wailing through those blackened arcades of antiquity

of antiquity until consciousness failed me.

until consciousness failed me. You remember our venerable house,

You remember our venerable house, opulent and imperial.

It is a festering abomination. I beg you, return home, claim your

I beg you, return home, claim your birthright, and deliver our family from

birthright, and deliver our family from the ravenous clutching shadows

Now that it's over, write down your thoughts on what you think the story is.

thoughts on what you think the story is. Pause the video and continue when you're

Pause the video and continue when you're done. Now, let's watch the intro of

done. Now, let's watch the intro of Darkest Dungeon 2.

Ruin has found you at last. My protege,

My protege, my friend.

my friend. Our calculations were correct. The

Our calculations were correct. The ephemeral equation is unbalanced.

ephemeral equation is unbalanced. The Earth spins on a strange and

The Earth spins on a strange and terrifying new axis. And everywhere

terrifying new axis. And everywhere unbridled consequence.

unbridled consequence. The world is a wasteland of failures

The world is a wasteland of failures past. And yet you must ride out into it.

past. And yet you must ride out into it. unafraid.

unafraid. [Music]

[Music] Take this. It is hope. The very last of

Take this. It is hope. The very last of it. It is yours now.

it. It is yours now. You were bold once.

You were bold once. Be bold once more.

Be bold once more. Free yourself from this suffocating

Free yourself from this suffocating stillness. Fix your gaze on the horizon

stillness. Fix your gaze on the horizon and face the fearsome truth

and face the fearsome truth of the darkest dungeon.

of the darkest dungeon. [Music]

Cool. Now, once again, write down your

Now, once again, write down your thoughts on what you think the story is

thoughts on what you think the story is in another paragraph. Pause the video

in another paragraph. Pause the video until you're done.

until you're done. Now, I'm going to go ahead and guess

Now, I'm going to go ahead and guess that you didn't know what to make out of

that you didn't know what to make out of the second one's intro. That's because

the second one's intro. That's because it's unclear. Epheal calculation,

it's unclear. Epheal calculation, strange new axis, a vertically

strange new axis, a vertically challenged destination. Also, why the

challenged destination. Also, why the ding-dang damn door need to be

ding-dang damn door need to be destroyed? Can't the ghoulish apparition

destroyed? Can't the ghoulish apparition use the doororknob like a normal entity?

use the doororknob like a normal entity? Or do four-dimensional figments of the

Or do four-dimensional figments of the imagination harbor some sort of spiteful

imagination harbor some sort of spiteful anger towards doors? Anyway, I was

anger towards doors? Anyway, I was actually considering to retell the

actually considering to retell the entire story since it's short but

entire story since it's short but revolves around a really cool premise,

revolves around a really cool premise, but I decided not to because nothing

but I decided not to because nothing describes it better than the intro.

describes it better than the intro. You're being told some exposition with a

You're being told some exposition with a lot of missing context. The entire game

lot of missing context. The entire game is like this, and the missing context is

is like this, and the missing context is partially revealed during chapter 4 and

partially revealed during chapter 4 and 5. Of course, there's still a lot

5. Of course, there's still a lot missing, but it gives you just enough to

missing, but it gives you just enough to put enough things together to be able to

put enough things together to be able to understand most of the story. And I

understand most of the story. And I don't mean this in the Elden Ring or

don't mean this in the Elden Ring or Dark Souls sort of storytelling. You

Dark Souls sort of storytelling. You don't unlock things and key information

don't unlock things and key information as you go. There's no secondhand

as you go. There's no secondhand accounts or even NPC dialogue to have.

accounts or even NPC dialogue to have. The entire story is told in one of two

The entire story is told in one of two places, at the mountain and at the start

places, at the mountain and at the start of the game. That's it. There's no item

of the game. That's it. There's no item descriptions, no surrounding detail or

descriptions, no surrounding detail or environmental storytelling, just

environmental storytelling, just exposition with missing context. While

exposition with missing context. While the entire game takes the theme of the

the entire game takes the theme of the game in every aspect, there still yet

game in every aspect, there still yet remains a massive amount of plot holes.

remains a massive amount of plot holes. It's like putting together a jigsaw

It's like putting together a jigsaw puzzle, except that there's still a lot

puzzle, except that there's still a lot of pieces missing, and the pieces you

of pieces missing, and the pieces you have don't fit anywhere, but you still

have don't fit anywhere, but you still have just enough to be able to make out

have just enough to be able to make out the overall story. Also, and I [ __ ] you

the overall story. Also, and I [ __ ] you not, while the entire game doesn't

not, while the entire game doesn't contain a single dungeon, the game pulls

contain a single dungeon, the game pulls off the classic it's all in the head

off the classic it's all in the head type of story, referring to the human

type of story, referring to the human mind as the darkest dungeon at the end

mind as the darkest dungeon at the end of the game

of the game of a darkest dungeon.

of a darkest dungeon. Yeah, they did that. They did that. They

Yeah, they did that. They did that. They they actually pulled that off. That's in

they actually pulled that off. That's in the game. What a [ __ ] copout.

the game. What a [ __ ] copout. It's an unpolished Mass Effect game full

It's an unpolished Mass Effect game full of a lot of interesting ideas, but

of a lot of interesting ideas, but executes them in a rushed and poor

executes them in a rushed and poor manner. Even when I let go of the notion

manner. Even when I let go of the notion that it should be anything similar to

that it should be anything similar to the predecessor, it still falls short.

the predecessor, it still falls short. Even years after its launch, it still

Even years after its launch, it still feels like it's an early access. And

feels like it's an early access. And more than that, it's an identity crisis

more than that, it's an identity crisis with features that resemble the identity

with features that resemble the identity of character permanence, akin to the

of character permanence, akin to the predecessor, but it keeps deleting and

predecessor, but it keeps deleting and resetting them. You can rename a

resetting them. You can rename a character, but the name will reset every

character, but the name will reset every time, and it doesn't even get archived,

time, and it doesn't even get archived, so what's the point? You can choose

so what's the point? You can choose cosmetics, but they will also reset

cosmetics, but they will also reset every time. You can also choose ability

every time. You can also choose ability hotkeys, but even that resets every

hotkeys, but even that resets every time. Even the camera while inspecting

time. Even the camera while inspecting the cosmetics will just reset on its

the cosmetics will just reset on its own.

own. Oh boy. Got me some new gear. Got me

Oh boy. Got me some new gear. Got me some of that. Really? Time to check out

some of that. Really? Time to check out the tacets. Time to check out the Why is

the tacets. Time to check out the Why is the camera like that? Give me Give me

the camera like that? Give me Give me back the controls, bro. I'm trying to

back the controls, bro. I'm trying to check out the tacets. Oh, you're going

check out the tacets. Oh, you're going to be like that, huh? Okay. Yeah. No, we

to be like that, huh? Okay. Yeah. No, we can both fight out about this.

can both fight out about this. It's okay. I don't mind a Beyblade

It's okay. I don't mind a Beyblade match. Let's go. Let's go, [ __ ]

match. Let's go. Let's go, [ __ ] I'm checking out the tacets, and you're

I'm checking out the tacets, and you're not going to stop me. I'm going to I'm

not going to stop me. I'm going to I'm going to get a good look at them tacets.

going to get a good look at them tacets. I'm looking at those tacets. I'm going

I'm looking at those tacets. I'm going to check out the tacets.

to check out the tacets. I'm checking out the tets. I paid for

I'm checking out the tets. I paid for that [ __ ] I paid for it. I paid. Let me

that [ __ ] I paid for it. I paid. Let me check out the tets. Give me that [ __ ]

check out the tets. Give me that [ __ ] I'm well aware of the stupid that took

I'm well aware of the stupid that took place when I bought this game with

place when I bought this game with little to no research done. But the

little to no research done. But the first game was all about figuring out

first game was all about figuring out the unknown. And the more research you

the unknown. And the more research you do, the less unknown it is. In other

do, the less unknown it is. In other words, or um well, more specifically,

words, or um well, more specifically, the words of myself from 3:00 a.m. the

the words of myself from 3:00 a.m. the day before.

day before. Foolishness was my unmedicated hubris.

Foolishness was my unmedicated hubris. the day for just as much as I loved the

the day for just as much as I loved the core gameplay loop of the first game on

core gameplay loop of the first game on Seen It was by me that they would take

Seen It was by me that they would take what countless have loved and turn it

what countless have loved and turn it into a glorified high fantasy Hot Wheels

into a glorified high fantasy Hot Wheels racrack.

racrack. What the [ __ ] I fully understand that

What the [ __ ] I fully understand that it's my fault I bought this game

it's my fault I bought this game relatively blind. And while I will

relatively blind. And while I will always discourage pre-orders, there's a

always discourage pre-orders, there's a select few and far between purchases

select few and far between purchases where I went against that thought. And

where I went against that thought. And would you believe me if I said that in

would you believe me if I said that in my years of practicing this, things only

my years of practicing this, things only ever went wrong once before, with

ever went wrong once before, with Darkest Dungeon 2 being the first regret

Darkest Dungeon 2 being the first regret I ever have. Anyway, the video ends now.

I ever have. Anyway, the video ends now. I can't wait to play games that are

I can't wait to play games that are worth my money. I could talk more about

worth my money. I could talk more about kingdoms, but honestly, I thought

kingdoms, but honestly, I thought nothing puts it better than this post by

nothing puts it better than this post by the developers where a central important

the developers where a central important mechanic of the entire game mode was so

mechanic of the entire game mode was so undiscovered by the people who played it

undiscovered by the people who played it that they put out a post telling people

that they put out a post telling people about it rather than putting in an

about it rather than putting in an in-game pop-up or tutorial telling you

in-game pop-up or tutorial telling you about it. Hatred has dissipated, and I

about it. Hatred has dissipated, and I feel a bit better now. All right, time

feel a bit better now. All right, time to drop this project and disappear for

to drop this project and disappear for another month. Thank you for watching.

another month. Thank you for watching. unsubscribe from the Patreon because the

unsubscribe from the Patreon because the videos take too long to come out and

videos take too long to come out and report this video for being about

report this video for being about Darkest Dungeon 2. See you next time

Darkest Dungeon 2. See you next time when I make a review about a game I

when I make a review about a game I actually like, like the racism game or

actually like, like the racism game or the game that controls the entire

the game that controls the entire economy of Venezuela. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

economy of Venezuela. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Or at least that's where the video was

Or at least that's where the video was supposed to end for the third time. But

supposed to end for the third time. But then, as I was editing the video, I came

then, as I was editing the video, I came across a couple weird details that when

across a couple weird details that when investigated caused a revelation. Here's

investigated caused a revelation. Here's some of my raw reaction to it.

some of my raw reaction to it. Wait a minute. Did I see that right?

Oh, [ __ ] Christ. The wicked token that's supposed to reduce damage by 50%

that's supposed to reduce damage by 50% doesn't actually consistently do that.

doesn't actually consistently do that. Whatever. I'm moving on.

It went through. It went through again. What? I got 85%.

It went through again. What? I got 85%. Resistance. How the [ __ ] is it going

Resistance. How the [ __ ] is it going through? It turns out that that's

through? It turns out that that's because it ignores resistance. And

because it ignores resistance. And nowhere in the game is that information

nowhere in the game is that information available whatsoever. This isn't the

available whatsoever. This isn't the first case like this. It's simply one of

first case like this. It's simply one of the few that I actually investigated

the few that I actually investigated thoroughly. Which then prompts the

thoroughly. Which then prompts the question, if the game is this neglectful

question, if the game is this neglectful with the basic information that it

with the basic information that it should be putting forward clearly, how

should be putting forward clearly, how far does the rabbit hole go?

far does the rabbit hole go? Hello everyone, future homos here. Too

Hello everyone, future homos here. Too many hours of research later. At the end

many hours of research later. At the end of my rope. At the end of my rope. I

of my rope. At the end of my rope. I walked in so biased in favor of this

walked in so biased in favor of this game. But the game wasn't only not a

game. But the game wasn't only not a sequel, but it wasn't even good on its

sequel, but it wasn't even good on its own foot. And I tried so hard to avoid

own foot. And I tried so hard to avoid being extremely subjective about the

being extremely subjective about the game with the reviewer in me even

game with the reviewer in me even dividing the video into two parts

dividing the video into two parts initially because I knew I couldn't stop

initially because I knew I couldn't stop myself from critiquing it mid-sentence

myself from critiquing it mid-sentence unless I did so with the first part

unless I did so with the first part explaining the game and the second part

explaining the game and the second part being my criticism. But you know now

being my criticism. But you know now after all my research I reject this

after all my research I reject this notion altogether. I'm right. I'm damn

notion altogether. I'm right. I'm damn right. And I will prove it too. I could

right. And I will prove it too. I could of course sit here, explain the files of

of course sit here, explain the files of the problems of the game, explain what I

the problems of the game, explain what I found, what's slapping, what's cracking.

found, what's slapping, what's cracking. But you know what? I'mma be real. I'mma

But you know what? I'mma be real. I'mma be honest. I can't I can't do it

be honest. I can't I can't do it anymore. And even if I could, what's the

anymore. And even if I could, what's the point? Because I've already said enough.

point? Because I've already said enough. I hate I hate

Bowser. Can't keep it in again, boys. I [ __ ] hate this game.

Hello everyone, Famous Game Reviewer here. Back at it again with another

here. Back at it again with another filler video that's taking a little bit

filler video that's taking a little bit longer than two weeks, which is the time

longer than two weeks, which is the time period I set out to make this video in.

period I set out to make this video in. You're probably wondering, where is this

You're probably wondering, where is this magic ass school bus going now? Usually,

magic ass school bus going now? Usually, I have a policy on my channel that I

I have a policy on my channel that I would exclusively talk about or do

would exclusively talk about or do things that I like doing, if you can

things that I like doing, if you can believe it. This video is the first time

believe it. This video is the first time I go against that policy ever since its

I go against that policy ever since its creation. And in the wise words of a

creation. And in the wise words of a person called clown that eats garbage

person called clown that eats garbage who eventually died from eating garbage,

who eventually died from eating garbage, if you're going to [ __ ] up, and you know

if you're going to [ __ ] up, and you know it's a [ __ ] then you better [ __ ] up

it's a [ __ ] then you better [ __ ] up so damn hard till you can't unfuck the

so damn hard till you can't unfuck the up without [ __ ] it down. That way any

up without [ __ ] it down. That way any and all lessons that can be learned will

and all lessons that can be learned will be as clear as day. After a recent

be as clear as day. After a recent revelation about the game that I've

revelation about the game that I've chosen not to detail because not only

chosen not to detail because not only will this video triple in length, but I

will this video triple in length, but I will also lose my mind in the process of

will also lose my mind in the process of explaining it, I've decided instead of

explaining it, I've decided instead of showing any of that to fully give in to

showing any of that to fully give in to the thought process. You see, Darkest

the thought process. You see, Darkest Dungeon 2 is not a sequel or a good game

Dungeon 2 is not a sequel or a good game and frankly a bit of a scam. And in all

and frankly a bit of a scam. And in all of my research about the game on

of my research about the game on YouTube, I found that there was an

YouTube, I found that there was an extreme lack of criticism about it. And

extreme lack of criticism about it. And so I've chosen that for the first time

so I've chosen that for the first time instead of critiquing it and moving on

instead of critiquing it and moving on with my life that I will instead opt

with my life that I will instead opt into giving this matter my all to become

into giving this matter my all to become the ultimate symbol of anger, a deity of

the ultimate symbol of anger, a deity of hatred, a paragon of spite, a perfect

hatred, a paragon of spite, a perfect misrepresentation to any and all of

misrepresentation to any and all of those who got scammed by the terrible

those who got scammed by the terrible labeling of this game. And I will do

labeling of this game. And I will do that using a degree of objectivity so

that using a degree of objectivity so unparalleled in autism that most of you

unparalleled in autism that most of you are probably going to skip through this

are probably going to skip through this section of the video if you're even

section of the video if you're even still watching. Welcome to the nerdy

still watching. Welcome to the nerdy part of the video. Things are going to

part of the video. Things are going to get very serious and boring from here,

get very serious and boring from here, or at the very least to the highest

or at the very least to the highest limits that the medication will allow.

limits that the medication will allow. Here's my last attempt at recording this

Here's my last attempt at recording this section.

section. The [ __ ] do you mean? Would you believe

The [ __ ] do you mean? Would you believe me if I said that was the second best

me if I said that was the second best take ahead of this section of the video?

take ahead of this section of the video? Anyway, you see, I think there's

Anyway, you see, I think there's actually a couple nice lessons to be

actually a couple nice lessons to be learned from what happened with this

learned from what happened with this game, and I'll go over them eventually.

game, and I'll go over them eventually. But first, let me explain what's about

But first, let me explain what's about to happen. Similarly to the chaos that

to happen. Similarly to the chaos that typically ensues when the teacher

typically ensues when the teacher forgets the special aid kit class door

forgets the special aid kit class door open. I may have hyperfixated for a

open. I may have hyperfixated for a couple of weeks and read 3,000 reviews

couple of weeks and read 3,000 reviews on Steam for Darkest Dungeon 2. Um I'm

on Steam for Darkest Dungeon 2. Um I'm not obsessed. I can quit at any time. I

not obsessed. I can quit at any time. I then sorted the details of those reviews

then sorted the details of those reviews in a spreadsheet based on my criticism

in a spreadsheet based on my criticism so far with some additional things that

so far with some additional things that I'll explain soon enough. This is all to

I'll explain soon enough. This is all to get a better idea of what people feel

get a better idea of what people feel like about the game. That way, I can

like about the game. That way, I can name and shame them to the best of my

name and shame them to the best of my ability. As you probably guessed, my

ability. As you probably guessed, my measuring stick for my objectivity will

measuring stick for my objectivity will be the opinions of the masses. That way,

be the opinions of the masses. That way, if the majority agree that something is

if the majority agree that something is what they believe it is, that's probably

what they believe it is, that's probably the closest you can get to objectivity

the closest you can get to objectivity in an environment all about

in an environment all about subjectivity. Now, I know what you're

subjectivity. Now, I know what you're thinking. You read 3,000 Steam reviews.

thinking. You read 3,000 Steam reviews. Wow, great job, Hermos. It sounds like

Wow, great job, Hermos. It sounds like your ADD medication is working a little

your ADD medication is working a little too well for your own good. Because

too well for your own good. Because because what the [ __ ] will reading so

because what the [ __ ] will reading so many reviews do, bro? There's due

many reviews do, bro? There's due diligence and then there's unhinged over

diligence and then there's unhinged over commitments. What the [ __ ] do you think

commitments. What the [ __ ] do you think this is? And if you thought that, then

this is? And if you thought that, then you

you you would you would um you you would be

you would you would um you you would be uh you would be um

uh you would be um editing heros, cut this part out. You

editing heros, cut this part out. You see, I'm a bit of a Steam review addict.

see, I'm a bit of a Steam review addict. I engaged with it for so many years.

I engaged with it for so many years. It's less about the opinion and more

It's less about the opinion and more about how socially questionable the

about how socially questionable the person is because any normal review and

person is because any normal review and the overwhelming majority of people will

the overwhelming majority of people will simply post that the game is ass or that

simply post that the game is ass or that the game is grass with some surface

the game is grass with some surface level reasons on why the game is that

level reasons on why the game is that way and then move on with their day.

way and then move on with their day. However, if you go to check the top

However, if you go to check the top reviews on any game, it's always someone

reviews on any game, it's always someone that's a little bit on the spectrum.

that's a little bit on the spectrum. Reading so many opinions from so many

Reading so many opinions from so many people is bound to lead us to read the

people is bound to lead us to read the opinions of those that are more socially

opinions of those that are more socially questionable than I can show for this

questionable than I can show for this video. So, before I delve into the meat

video. So, before I delve into the meat and potatoes of the spreadsheet itself,

and potatoes of the spreadsheet itself, here's some interesting things I found

here's some interesting things I found during my delve that I didn't cut from

during my delve that I didn't cut from the video, the ula of the game is a bit

the video, the ula of the game is a bit questionable and might be completely

questionable and might be completely invalid, the strange disagreements about

invalid, the strange disagreements about rogue likes and rogue lights, Slay the

rogue likes and rogue lights, Slay the Spire, and the ridiculous comparisons

Spire, and the ridiculous comparisons and the DLCs. And I'm now about to delve

and the DLCs. And I'm now about to delve into all of that before I even get into

into all of that before I even get into the spreadsheet. Just when I thought

the spreadsheet. Just when I thought that the video was going to end after

that the video was going to end after over 6 months of making it, the rabbit

over 6 months of making it, the rabbit hole grows deeper.

Something I saw pop up time and time again was mentions of the ULA being

again was mentions of the ULA being quite unhinged in the reviews with the

quite unhinged in the reviews with the most referenced sections being sections

most referenced sections being sections 5 and 14 of the end user license

5 and 14 of the end user license agreement. So, I took the time to check

agreement. So, I took the time to check it out. Section 5 states the following.

it out. Section 5 states the following. General access. We also reserve the

General access. We also reserve the right in our sole discretion to

right in our sole discretion to terminate your access to all or part of

terminate your access to all or part of the game or to any product or service

the game or to any product or service available through the game or any Red

available through the game or any Red Hook website for any reason or no reason

Hook website for any reason or no reason with or without notice. Now, that sounds

with or without notice. Now, that sounds crazy, but due to an autistic binge from

crazy, but due to an autistic binge from a couple years ago, I understood that

a couple years ago, I understood that this is lawyer speak, which is a little

this is lawyer speak, which is a little bit different from normal people speak.

bit different from normal people speak. And since my knowledge on law is mostly

And since my knowledge on law is mostly cursory these days, I decided to take

cursory these days, I decided to take the time to not only refresh my memory,

the time to not only refresh my memory, but also to become a little bit smarter

but also to become a little bit smarter on the matter. I sent some emails here,

on the matter. I sent some emails here, some messages there, looked up a couple

some messages there, looked up a couple examples, and now I can definitively say

examples, and now I can definitively say that this is definitely insane, even for

that this is definitely insane, even for lawyer speaking standards. This section

lawyer speaking standards. This section only makes sense to me as a ban section,

only makes sense to me as a ban section, which would protect the game if they

which would protect the game if they were to ban you from the multiplayer

were to ban you from the multiplayer part of the game or something like that,

part of the game or something like that, which doesn't make any sense in the

which doesn't make any sense in the context of Darkest Dungeon 2 because

context of Darkest Dungeon 2 because it's exclusively single player. Even if

it's exclusively single player. Even if they can ban you, what would they ban

they can ban you, what would they ban you from? Now for section 14, and it

you from? Now for section 14, and it states consent to monitoring. When you

states consent to monitoring. When you are using the game, the game may monitor

are using the game, the game may monitor your computer's RAM for unauthorized

your computer's RAM for unauthorized third-party programs that interact with

third-party programs that interact with the game, probably Cheat Engine, and are

the game, probably Cheat Engine, and are prohibited by this agreement. If the

prohibited by this agreement. If the game detects an unauthorized third party

game detects an unauthorized third party program, probably Cheat Engine, the game

program, probably Cheat Engine, the game may without notice to you, communicate

may without notice to you, communicate that information to us, including your

that information to us, including your account information, IP address, details

account information, IP address, details about the unauthorized program, and the

about the unauthorized program, and the time and date that the unauthorized

time and date that the unauthorized third party program was detected. If the

third party program was detected. If the game detects the use of an unauthorized

game detects the use of an unauthorized thirdparty program, your access to the

thirdparty program, your access to the online portions of the game may be

online portions of the game may be terminated. You hereby consent to this

terminated. You hereby consent to this monitoring. Now, this one sounded to me

monitoring. Now, this one sounded to me like an anti-che section because one of

like an anti-che section because one of the more common ways to cheat in Darkest

the more common ways to cheat in Darkest Dungeon is by altering the memory, which

Dungeon is by altering the memory, which is again strange because Darkest Dungeon

is again strange because Darkest Dungeon 2 is exclusively single player with no

2 is exclusively single player with no online functionality. There's analytics

online functionality. There's analytics collection, but that's about it. And

collection, but that's about it. And they're definitely not going to ban you

they're definitely not going to ban you from giving them your information. So,

from giving them your information. So, why would they monitor your RAM? And

why would they monitor your RAM? And more importantly, why would they want

more importantly, why would they want identifying information? Even if they

identifying information? Even if they were collecting your information for the

were collecting your information for the sake of improving sales or even selling

sake of improving sales or even selling it, something just sounded off about

it, something just sounded off about this. Initially, I was going to spend a

this. Initially, I was going to spend a lot of time digging deep and talking to

lot of time digging deep and talking to lawyers to fully understand the reasons

lawyers to fully understand the reasons behind a ULA like this. But then I

behind a ULA like this. But then I realized a critical revelation occurred

realized a critical revelation occurred to me. Hey, hold on. Wait a minute.

to me. Hey, hold on. Wait a minute. Everyone sees all operations. This is

Everyone sees all operations. This is Red Hook Studios we're talking about,

Red Hook Studios we're talking about, and nobody knows them better than my

and nobody knows them better than my imagination does. So, just as I already

imagination does. So, just as I already have done once before, I'm going to do

have done once before, I'm going to do it again to utilize a critical and

it again to utilize a critical and powerful mental faculty that I have. The

powerful mental faculty that I have. The ability to make [ __ ] up and be right at

ability to make [ __ ] up and be right at the end of the day. When I started

the end of the day. When I started utilizing that ability, so much already

utilizing that ability, so much already made sense because I recognized the

made sense because I recognized the entirety of this ula to be the same ula

entirety of this ula to be the same ula from the first game. But it's not a

from the first game. But it's not a complete copy paste. There's exactly two

complete copy paste. There's exactly two differences between them. Um, this

differences between them. Um, this letter here is capital and uh there's a

letter here is capital and uh there's a space bar at the end. Interesting.

space bar at the end. Interesting. fantastic exclusive, so they didn't

fantastic exclusive, so they didn't completely rush it when they copy pasted

completely rush it when they copy pasted the same ULA from the first game. The

the same ULA from the first game. The ULA makes much more sense in the first

ULA makes much more sense in the first game. Section 5 makes sense because it

game. Section 5 makes sense because it would legally protect Red Hook if they

would legally protect Red Hook if they were to ban you for cheating in the PvP

were to ban you for cheating in the PvP arena. And section 14 also makes sense

arena. And section 14 also makes sense because the anti-che system is to

because the anti-che system is to monitor the RAM. If you're modifying the

monitor the RAM. If you're modifying the RAM, you would of course get

RAM, you would of course get automatically flagged, your information

automatically flagged, your information reported, and then most likely later on

reported, and then most likely later on banned.

banned. Banned? Banned?

Banned? Banned? Huh? most likely later on. Banned. I'm

Huh? most likely later on. Banned. I'm making [ __ ] up and I'm probably right,

making [ __ ] up and I'm probably right, but something doesn't sit right with me.

but something doesn't sit right with me. Something about that sentence isn't

Something about that sentence isn't normal. Banned.

normal. Banned. Banned. They would they would ban you

Banned. They would they would ban you for cheating. Of course.

for cheating. Of course. Of course.

Of course. Right.

Right. Interesting. Hello everyone, Future

Interesting. Hello everyone, Future Hermos here. While I still do

Hermos here. While I still do intuitively believe that they probably

intuitively believe that they probably ban repeat cheaters, I have to admit

ban repeat cheaters, I have to admit that I might be wrong about it because I

that I might be wrong about it because I couldn't find a single example of a ban

couldn't find a single example of a ban or even what it looks like to be banned.

or even what it looks like to be banned. I could of course look deeper into the

I could of course look deeper into the matter, but aside from the fact that I'm

matter, but aside from the fact that I'm making a video that doesn't like me and

making a video that doesn't like me and I don't like it, I'm currently 6 months

I don't like it, I'm currently 6 months in into making a video that probably

in into making a video that probably won't get more than 12 views. So, I'm

won't get more than 12 views. So, I'm making an executive decision. I'm not

making an executive decision. I'm not going to dive into this rabbit hole.

going to dive into this rabbit hole. back to past Hermos, who is currently

back to past Hermos, who is currently mumbling insane ramblings and is

mumbling insane ramblings and is probably right. Okay, so we've concluded

probably right. Okay, so we've concluded that the ULA makes sense for the first

that the ULA makes sense for the first game and that it doesn't make sense for

game and that it doesn't make sense for the second game. But I also previously

the second game. But I also previously said that section 5 is a bit insane even

said that section 5 is a bit insane even for lawyer speak. Any reason or no

for lawyer speak. Any reason or no reason, with or without notice, it's a

reason, with or without notice, it's a bit unhinged. But why is it like this?

bit unhinged. But why is it like this? This is where things get complicated.

This is where things get complicated. Red Hook Studios at the time of creating

Red Hook Studios at the time of creating the ULAS of their games were a group of

the ULAS of their games were a group of indie devs. Indie devs usually are

indie devs. Indie devs usually are passionate about the game development

passionate about the game development aspect. They are not, however,

aspect. They are not, however, passionate about the legal and

passionate about the legal and extensively long and boring aspect of

extensively long and boring aspect of making games. And if they were to ban

making games. And if they were to ban you from the game or a section of the

you from the game or a section of the game, for example, the PvP arena, for

game, for example, the PvP arena, for any reason, regardless of how valid it

any reason, regardless of how valid it is, you could argue in court that it

is, you could argue in court that it isn't fair for them to do that, as it

isn't fair for them to do that, as it was never stated anywhere that cheating

was never stated anywhere that cheating wasn't allowed and therefore would cause

wasn't allowed and therefore would cause a lot of legal headache for them. Even

a lot of legal headache for them. Even if Red Hook was to win, the soundness of

if Red Hook was to win, the soundness of your argument alone would likely allow

your argument alone would likely allow for a judge and or jury to hear you out.

for a judge and or jury to hear you out. That alone would cause years of

That alone would cause years of headache. To resolve these things, ulas

headache. To resolve these things, ulas and terms of service agreements exist.

and terms of service agreements exist. But indie devs don't usually know how to

But indie devs don't usually know how to make them, so they either use a template

make them, so they either use a template and fill it with [ __ ] that they

and fill it with [ __ ] that they think is right, or they contact a law

think is right, or they contact a law firm to do it for them instead. Judging

firm to do it for them instead. Judging by how the ULA is written, it was

by how the ULA is written, it was probably a law firm. So, we've

probably a law firm. So, we've established how the ULA was most likely

established how the ULA was most likely made. Or as I said in a now redacted

made. Or as I said in a now redacted take, my ass has spoken and my ass is

take, my ass has spoken and my ass is probably right. Now, previously I said

probably right. Now, previously I said that section 5 is insanely written even

that section 5 is insanely written even for lawyer speak. Why is it this

for lawyer speak. Why is it this insanely written? Well, that's because

insanely written? Well, that's because amongst lawyers, there exists a couple

amongst lawyers, there exists a couple schools of thought. For the sake of

schools of thought. For the sake of time, I'm only going to brush over two

time, I'm only going to brush over two of them here today. The first school of

of them here today. The first school of thought believes that they should limit

thought believes that they should limit themselves in contract to what they will

themselves in contract to what they will allow the company to get away with in

allow the company to get away with in good faith, assuming they have dignity.

good faith, assuming they have dignity. The second school of thought believes

The second school of thought believes that the only thing that matters is

that the only thing that matters is victory above all else. So, they tend to

victory above all else. So, they tend to write very broad statements full of very

write very broad statements full of very insane sounding words that are meant to

insane sounding words that are meant to excuse whatever the company does should

excuse whatever the company does should things ever reach the courtrooms. I

things ever reach the courtrooms. I believe the law firm they contacted most

believe the law firm they contacted most likely resides in the second school of

likely resides in the second school of thought. Anyway, here's an interesting

thought. Anyway, here's an interesting find. Many ulas tend to have

find. Many ulas tend to have uninforcable clauses, sometimes

uninforcable clauses, sometimes knowingly so. And the usual reason is to

knowingly so. And the usual reason is to deter people from doing certain actions

deter people from doing certain actions in the first place, which begs the

in the first place, which begs the question, is section 5 an enforceable

question, is section 5 an enforceable ula?

ula? Well, hello again, future tired ass

Well, hello again, future tired ass here, tired of editing the video. It was

here, tired of editing the video. It was confirmed to me by a community manager,

confirmed to me by a community manager, who I'll leave outside of this, that any

who I'll leave outside of this, that any and all Steam developers have full

and all Steam developers have full access and control to who can and can't

access and control to who can and can't access their games. In a cursory search

access their games. In a cursory search to find a single example of a developer

to find a single example of a developer wrongly revoking access to a game, I

wrongly revoking access to a game, I have found none. So, can the ULA be

have found none. So, can the ULA be wrongly abused? In theory, yes. But in

wrongly abused? In theory, yes. But in practice, I found nothing. What I did

practice, I found nothing. What I did find is examples of copies being revoked

find is examples of copies being revoked for two reasons. One reason is

for two reasons. One reason is fraudulent transactions. So, the game

fraudulent transactions. So, the game was bought with a stolen credit card or

was bought with a stolen credit card or the purchase was charged back after it

the purchase was charged back after it was done. The other reason is beta

was done. The other reason is beta testing reasons. Sometimes a certain

testing reasons. Sometimes a certain build of the game will be given for beta

build of the game will be given for beta testing and the developers involved

testing and the developers involved eventually shut down the servers once

eventually shut down the servers once the beta testing period is over and so

the beta testing period is over and so they revoke your access to that build of

they revoke your access to that build of the game. Back to a now out of context

the game. Back to a now out of context section of the video because everything

section of the video because everything previous to what you're about to hear

previous to what you're about to hear got deleted. Wow, I love spending 6

got deleted. Wow, I love spending 6 months to make a single video. Wow, I

months to make a single video. Wow, I didn't know I could make so many things

didn't know I could make so many things up like that and still sound like I'm

up like that and still sound like I'm within the realm of reality. That's a

within the realm of reality. That's a bit insane. But you know what's truly

bit insane. But you know what's truly insane is that the entirety of the ULA

insane is that the entirety of the ULA of the second game might just be

of the second game might just be completely invalid. I couldn't find

completely invalid. I couldn't find anyone talking about this, so how about

anyone talking about this, so how about we have a little bit of fun. I'm going

we have a little bit of fun. I'm going to read the paragraph that contains the

to read the paragraph that contains the silver bullet. Let's see if you catch it

silver bullet. Let's see if you catch it the same way that I did. End user

the same way that I did. End user license agreement and terms of service.

license agreement and terms of service. This agreement is between you and Red

This agreement is between you and Red Hook Studios regarding the Darkest

Hook Studios regarding the Darkest Dungeon computer game and all related

Dungeon computer game and all related software files, documentation, updates,

software files, documentation, updates, upgrades, and derivative works. Red Hook

upgrades, and derivative works. Red Hook developed and owns the game and is

developed and owns the game and is licensing the game to you on the terms

licensing the game to you on the terms and conditions set out below. Did you

and conditions set out below. Did you catch it? They don't say Darkest Dungeon

catch it? They don't say Darkest Dungeon series. They don't say Darkest Dungeon

series. They don't say Darkest Dungeon franchise. They don't even say Darkest

franchise. They don't even say Darkest Dungeon 2. They say Darkest Dungeon the

Dungeon 2. They say Darkest Dungeon the Computer Game. Also, it's not called

Computer Game. Also, it's not called Darkest Dungeon. It's called Darkest

Darkest Dungeon. It's called Darkest Dungeon Registered. So, you can argue

Dungeon Registered. So, you can argue that the end user license agreement of

that the end user license agreement of the second game does not involve the

the second game does not involve the second game. And according to a lawyer

second game. And according to a lawyer that I emailed about this, he actually

that I emailed about this, he actually thinks the argument could have some

thinks the argument could have some validity to it. Do I think Red Hook

validity to it. Do I think Red Hook Studios are criminals? No. They probably

Studios are criminals? No. They probably just amateurs and they took the path of

just amateurs and they took the path of least resistance when they copypasted

least resistance when they copypasted the entire ULA of the first game to the

the entire ULA of the first game to the second game. I hate them for what they

second game. I hate them for what they did to the $25 that were once in my

did to the $25 that were once in my pocket. But I also like being fair about

pocket. But I also like being fair about things when there's multiple sponsors

things when there's multiple sponsors and shareholders holding a bag of money

and shareholders holding a bag of money over my head. Now, in the same spirit of

over my head. Now, in the same spirit of Fred Hook wanting to avoid legal

Fred Hook wanting to avoid legal headache, I will now state a similar

headache, I will now state a similar legal copout that involves some legally

legal copout that involves some legally important sentences. None of this is

important sentences. None of this is legal advice. It is simply my ass

legal advice. It is simply my ass speaking and my ass is probably right.

speaking and my ass is probably right. While I was reading the more

While I was reading the more extraterrestrial reviews on Steam, I

extraterrestrial reviews on Steam, I found myself running into a high amount

found myself running into a high amount of reviews that called the game a rogike

of reviews that called the game a rogike and a rog light, sometimes

and a rog light, sometimes interchangeably. Righteous in my belief

interchangeably. Righteous in my belief that the game is a rog light and eager

that the game is a rog light and eager to express my commitment to hatred

to express my commitment to hatred immediately, I went out looking for a

immediately, I went out looking for a solid example to disprove the many wrong

solid example to disprove the many wrong reviews that I had seen, only to find

reviews that I had seen, only to find something even more confusing. I was

something even more confusing. I was both right and wrong depending on who

both right and wrong depending on who you ask because the very definition of

you ask because the very definition of rogue likes and rogue light had been

rogue likes and rogue light had been around for so long and changed so much

around for so long and changed so much that the original rogue game that

that the original rogue game that started the genre is now considered a

started the genre is now considered a rogike. But still with a heart motivated

rogike. But still with a heart motivated with nothing but hatred, I still looked

with nothing but hatred, I still looked to express it upon every unsuspecting

to express it upon every unsuspecting Steam review that went against my

Steam review that went against my belief. So I asked the people around me,

belief. So I asked the people around me, "Name three games that you think are a

"Name three games that you think are a rogike or a rogike and then say which

rogike or a rogike and then say which one you think is which." And uh well it

one you think is which." And uh well it it didn't take long for me to realize

it didn't take long for me to realize that that was probably a bad idea

that that was probably a bad idea because things only became more

because things only became more confusing. Slay the Spire Steam tags say

confusing. Slay the Spire Steam tags say it's a rogike. I think it's a rogike.

it's a rogike. I think it's a rogike. Two friends said it's a rog light. A

Two friends said it's a rog light. A resident of the Discord server says it's

resident of the Discord server says it's a rogike. And according to a poll I did,

a rogike. And according to a poll I did, 75% think it's a rogike. 25% think it's

75% think it's a rogike. 25% think it's a rog light and 100% think it's heroin.

a rog light and 100% think it's heroin. One person said Hades is a rogike. Other

One person said Hades is a rogike. Other said it's a rogike. The steam tags say

said it's a rogike. The steam tags say it's both. Enter the dungeon. I think

it's both. Enter the dungeon. I think it's a rogike. A friend said it's a

it's a rogike. A friend said it's a rogike and the Steam tags think it's an

rogike and the Steam tags think it's an action rogike. Rogike. Darkest Dungeon 2

action rogike. Rogike. Darkest Dungeon 2 advertised as a rogike yet it has the

advertised as a rogike yet it has the tag of a rog light. The reviews says

tag of a rog light. The reviews says it's both. And I I

it's both. And I I am too angry to think if I was to put

am too angry to think if I was to put everything I found into this one video,

everything I found into this one video, we'd be here all day. Now, I'm willing

we'd be here all day. Now, I'm willing to do that kind of, but the problem is

to do that kind of, but the problem is we have already been here all day and

we have already been here all day and you can't fit two days in one just yet.

you can't fit two days in one just yet. So, here's an extremely reductive

So, here's an extremely reductive explanation of this mess.

explanation of this mess. The rogue formula and genre in general

The rogue formula and genre in general due to its popularity seems to have

due to its popularity seems to have underwent a severe mutation across the

underwent a severe mutation across the years. So much so that there now exists

years. So much so that there now exists various schools of thought regarding it.

various schools of thought regarding it. The more commonly detailed agreements

The more commonly detailed agreements state that rogue likes should denote

state that rogue likes should denote that future runs cannot be influenced

that future runs cannot be influenced and rogue light denote that future runs

and rogue light denote that future runs should be influencable in some way

should be influencable in some way usually to make them easier. By that

usually to make them easier. By that definition, darkest dungeon 2 would be a

definition, darkest dungeon 2 would be a rog light and darkest dungeon one would

rog light and darkest dungeon one would be a rogike. There is of course a lot

be a rogike. There is of course a lot more reasons on why either of them can

more reasons on why either of them can feel like a rogike or a rog light. But

feel like a rogike or a rog light. But out of the reasons than everyone

out of the reasons than everyone mentioned, this seems to be the most

mentioned, this seems to be the most commonly mentioned reason. However, all

commonly mentioned reason. However, all of that wasn't something that I thought

of that wasn't something that I thought about initially. So that leaves us with

about initially. So that leaves us with one last question. What is my definition

one last question. What is my definition for rogue likes and rogue likes?

for rogue likes and rogue likes? Initially, I was going to do another

Initially, I was going to do another deep dive to fully understand what

deep dive to fully understand what school of thought I belong to. But after

school of thought I belong to. But after finding out how complicated things were,

finding out how complicated things were, I said to myself, "Fuck that." So,

I said to myself, "Fuck that." So, here's the answer that I made up after I

here's the answer that I made up after I ran out of time that most aligned with

ran out of time that most aligned with me. I don't know. I'm just here to be

me. I don't know. I'm just here to be mad at people who disagree with me.

All right, this one's kind of interesting. Something I saw happen

interesting. Something I saw happen quite a lot is people mentioning or

quite a lot is people mentioning or comparing this game with Slay the Spire.

comparing this game with Slay the Spire. And when I had seen this initially, I

And when I had seen this initially, I thought to myself,

thought to myself, you smell that?

you smell that? It smells like stupid in here. because a

It smells like stupid in here. because a cursory glance is more than enough to

cursory glance is more than enough to understand that they're too different to

understand that they're too different to compare other than the fact that one

compare other than the fact that one game is heroin and the other game is

game is heroin and the other game is [ __ ] I do believe that nothing happens

[ __ ] I do believe that nothing happens for no reason. So, I put on the coffee

for no reason. So, I put on the coffee stained lamp coat and delved into the

stained lamp coat and delved into the matter. And I found a couple things that

matter. And I found a couple things that are interesting. When it comes to the

are interesting. When it comes to the rogue genre, usually the biggest in that

rogue genre, usually the biggest in that genre tend to inspire a subgenre of

genre tend to inspire a subgenre of themselves. It's how the term mutated so

themselves. It's how the term mutated so much in its meaning across the years.

much in its meaning across the years. Pieces of the formula taken from one

Pieces of the formula taken from one game to the other. just inspiration

game to the other. just inspiration after inspiration so many times across

after inspiration so many times across the years. That might just be what

the years. That might just be what happened with Darkest Dungeon 2. Because

happened with Darkest Dungeon 2. Because if you can believe it, Darkest Dungeon 2

if you can believe it, Darkest Dungeon 2 is inspired by Slay the Spire. It's

is inspired by Slay the Spire. It's hinted and touched on in several

hinted and touched on in several interviews with the developers. It's

interviews with the developers. It's clear Slay the Spire had an influence on

clear Slay the Spire had an influence on Darkest Dungeon 2. The obvious thing

Darkest Dungeon 2. The obvious thing that they took away is the map mechanic

that they took away is the map mechanic and possibly the loot. However, they

and possibly the loot. However, they integrated their own spin on both of

integrated their own spin on both of them and it ended up meshing pretty

them and it ended up meshing pretty badly with the rest of the game. Their

badly with the rest of the game. Their take on the map mechanic is pretty

take on the map mechanic is pretty boring, taking over 30% of the play time

boring, taking over 30% of the play time just for the sake of immersion. And all

just for the sake of immersion. And all there is to do during that time is watch

there is to do during that time is watch the Maserati move around at a snail

the Maserati move around at a snail space. It's also evident that they tried

space. It's also evident that they tried to take away the loot aspect of Slay the

to take away the loot aspect of Slay the Spire. But they make the classic rogike

Spire. But they make the classic rogike mistake of having so much garbage in the

mistake of having so much garbage in the loot pool that unlocking new items

loot pool that unlocking new items further dilutes the pool of items that

further dilutes the pool of items that you can get with over half the

you can get with over half the unlockable items in the game not even

unlockable items in the game not even being better than the stuff you have

being better than the stuff you have unlocked by default. even with unlocking

unlocked by default. even with unlocking new abilities for heroes, there's a

new abilities for heroes, there's a trade-off there, too. Yes, you get new

trade-off there, too. Yes, you get new abilities, but not only are most

abilities, but not only are most abilities pretty bad, but also now when

abilities pretty bad, but also now when you get a positive relationship, you

you get a positive relationship, you increase the chance of the relationship

increase the chance of the relationship picking an ability that you're not using

picking an ability that you're not using because it chooses randomly between what

because it chooses randomly between what you have unlocked. This happens quite a

you have unlocked. This happens quite a lot more than you'd expect. Inspiration

lot more than you'd expect. Inspiration can be a fairly easy trap to fall into.

can be a fairly easy trap to fall into. You can take the good aspects of another

You can take the good aspects of another game, but make up other stuff that don't

game, but make up other stuff that don't mix well with it. And when it comes to

mix well with it. And when it comes to the rogue genre in general, I think this

the rogue genre in general, I think this is more common than any other genre.

[Music] In the first game, every DLC expanded on

In the first game, every DLC expanded on the game in some way. The Crimson Court

the game in some way. The Crimson Court added a new map with a lot of bosses,

added a new map with a lot of bosses, mobs, a heavily invasive mechanic, and

mobs, a heavily invasive mechanic, and it ramped up difficulty quite harshly,

it ramped up difficulty quite harshly, more than what most would have liked to

more than what most would have liked to see. Personally, I like the difficulty,

see. Personally, I like the difficulty, but there were certain fights that were

but there were certain fights that were harsher than most of the bosses in the

harsher than most of the bosses in the DLC. The DLC was about $10. The Color of

DLC. The DLC was about $10. The Color of Madness added an endless mode and a lot

Madness added an endless mode and a lot of interesting trinkets. It was balanced

of interesting trinkets. It was balanced in such a way that it only made sense to

in such a way that it only made sense to be explored in the mid late game as a

be explored in the mid late game as a lot of grinding was required. Still

lot of grinding was required. Still though, it was something new and it only

though, it was something new and it only costed $5. The Shieldbreaker was a

costed $5. The Shieldbreaker was a single character DLC featuring the

single character DLC featuring the highest DPS of any character in the

highest DPS of any character in the entire game, but coming at the cost of

entire game, but coming at the cost of no stuns in the ability set. This is

no stuns in the ability set. This is probably the closest the game ever got

probably the closest the game ever got to being paid to win. The DLC costed $4.

to being paid to win. The DLC costed $4. All of the DLCs were pretty cool. They

All of the DLCs were pretty cool. They all came with something that was both

all came with something that was both interesting and annoying. But as someone

interesting and annoying. But as someone who just loved the base gameplay loop so

who just loved the base gameplay loop so much, I didn't mind it for the most

much, I didn't mind it for the most part. I wonder how the DLCs are like in

part. I wonder how the DLCs are like in the second game.

the second game. Well, brother, you're in for a wild ass

Well, brother, you're in for a wild ass scam and a half. You have no idea.

[Music] Look, they're both character-based DLCs.

Look, they're both character-based DLCs. One introduces two characters and the

One introduces two characters and the second introduces only one. They're both

second introduces only one. They're both $10. They're the type of DLCs that only

$10. They're the type of DLCs that only make sense to buy if you already like

make sense to buy if you already like the core gameplay loop. But by no means

the core gameplay loop. But by no means do they add or expand to the game in any

do they add or expand to the game in any significant way. Since I had already

significant way. Since I had already been scammed by the developers and to

been scammed by the developers and to buy in a falsely advertised game, it's

buy in a falsely advertised game, it's safe to say that I practiced the ways of

safe to say that I practiced the ways of my own spirit animal trying before

my own spirit animal trying before buying. I played with Cheat Engine

buying. I played with Cheat Engine sending the game speed to times 12

sending the game speed to times 12 because for whatever reason they made

because for whatever reason they made the DLC's as grindy as the rest of the

the DLC's as grindy as the rest of the game. The first DLC is quite annoying.

game. The first DLC is quite annoying. The Binding Blade is $10 for just two

The Binding Blade is $10 for just two characters. We also don't get them with

characters. We also don't get them with all of their abilities. So that's about

all of their abilities. So that's about 6 hours of grinding minimum required

6 hours of grinding minimum required before we actually get to explore them.

before we actually get to explore them. On top of that, and get this, the second

On top of that, and get this, the second character, Crusader, yes, they paywalled

character, Crusader, yes, they paywalled the Crusader from the first game is

the Crusader from the first game is locked. You have to complete a quest to

locked. You have to complete a quest to unlock him. And once you unlock him, by

unlock him. And once you unlock him, by the way, again, they again don't let you

the way, again, they again don't let you have him with all of his abilities. So

have him with all of his abilities. So again, you need to spend 6 hours minimum

again, you need to spend 6 hours minimum to unlock his abilities after the quest.

to unlock his abilities after the quest. But whatever, let's go do the quest.

But whatever, let's go do the quest. Let's check it out. Now, it's important

Let's check it out. Now, it's important to note that I came to this DLC after

to note that I came to this DLC after doing kingdoms. So when I saw the quest

doing kingdoms. So when I saw the quest item, I knew exactly what I needed to

item, I knew exactly what I needed to do. I'm mentioning this because when the

do. I'm mentioning this because when the DLC came out, kingdoms wasn't a thing.

DLC came out, kingdoms wasn't a thing. So the mechanic of the quest items via

So the mechanic of the quest items via the trophies was new and not well

the trophies was new and not well communicated by this point in the game.

communicated by this point in the game. Usually with these quests, there's a bit

Usually with these quests, there's a bit of trial and error. You guess what it

of trial and error. You guess what it could possibly mean and try to pull

could possibly mean and try to pull through with it. But in this case, I

through with it. But in this case, I happen to guess every step correctly in

happen to guess every step correctly in the first try, and I still couldn't

the first try, and I still couldn't complete the quest in one run.

complete the quest in one run. Fortunately, it saves your progress, and

Fortunately, it saves your progress, and the trophy doesn't expire. So, if you

the trophy doesn't expire. So, if you know what to expect, you can choose when

know what to expect, you can choose when to do it. By this point, I had reached

to do it. By this point, I had reached the final step of the quest, which

the final step of the quest, which caused me to experience a dilemma. I can

caused me to experience a dilemma. I can unlock the crusader right now, but

unlock the crusader right now, but following the logic of kingdoms, that

following the logic of kingdoms, that would then consume the trophy most

would then consume the trophy most likely, and if I lose the trophy, I

likely, and if I lose the trophy, I would no longer be able to bypass the

would no longer be able to bypass the entry requirement to the mountain. I was

entry requirement to the mountain. I was already more than 3 hours in, so the

already more than 3 hours in, so the sunken cost fallacy got the better of

sunken cost fallacy got the better of me. I slapped the quest trophy on and

me. I slapped the quest trophy on and went forward. Since this was my first

went forward. Since this was my first try, I was caught off guard by the game.

try, I was caught off guard by the game. You're forced into a fight with a boss

You're forced into a fight with a boss to unlock the crusader. Once again, I

to unlock the crusader. Once again, I first tried it, unlocking the crusader.

first tried it, unlocking the crusader. And yet, the grind wasn't over yet. I

And yet, the grind wasn't over yet. I had to now take him to five shrines and

had to now take him to five shrines and get about 50 candles to fully unlock

get about 50 candles to fully unlock him. If I didn't have any leftover

him. If I didn't have any leftover candles, that's another 6 hours worth of

candles, that's another 6 hours worth of work just to unlock a character you

work just to unlock a character you would have already paid for. I wanted to

would have already paid for. I wanted to cut corners and try to finish as soon as

cut corners and try to finish as soon as possible. So, I abandoned the run after

possible. So, I abandoned the run after finishing the quest and did a new one to

finishing the quest and did a new one to start unlocking his abilities right

start unlocking his abilities right away. Two grind fests later. Now, for

away. Two grind fests later. Now, for the review on the characters, my

the review on the characters, my estimation of the characters are going

estimation of the characters are going to depend on how well they can work with

to depend on how well they can work with plague doctor and man at arms on the

plague doctor and man at arms on the team. This is because the entire game is

team. This is because the entire game is designed around those two and as such

designed around those two and as such they are the best that the game has to

they are the best that the game has to offer. I'm not just saying this

offer. I'm not just saying this subjectively. I'm also saying this

subjectively. I'm also saying this statistically.

The Crusader is an awkward frontline character capable of a lot of things,

character capable of a lot of things, but not good at any one of them.

but not good at any one of them. Seemingly at his best when dancing with

Seemingly at his best when dancing with Holy Lance and used as a support. It's

Holy Lance and used as a support. It's important to note that after unlocking

important to note that after unlocking him, you now have an increased chance of

him, you now have an increased chance of running into a boss, specifically the

running into a boss, specifically the warlord, which passively makes the game

warlord, which passively makes the game harder. You're also not guaranteed good

harder. You're also not guaranteed good rewards from the fight. Two of the

rewards from the fight. Two of the subasses leave a bit more to be desired

subasses leave a bit more to be desired as they nerf him in some sort of

as they nerf him in some sort of significant way. As for the third

significant way. As for the third subclass, well, it was made using Red

subclass, well, it was made using Red Hook's classic wacky ass balancing

Hook's classic wacky ass balancing philosophy. Get this, the description

philosophy. Get this, the description says it gives him improved reach, but

says it gives him improved reach, but they forgot to give him the improved

they forgot to give him the improved reach. Overall, I would bargain to say

reach. Overall, I would bargain to say that not unlocking the character is

that not unlocking the character is actually better than having the

actually better than having the character because you can just keep

character because you can just keep using the trophy to bypass the entry

using the trophy to bypass the entry requirement for the mountain if you

requirement for the mountain if you don't unlock him. On top of that, you

don't unlock him. On top of that, you wouldn't have an increased chance of

wouldn't have an increased chance of running into a boss at barricades. As

running into a boss at barricades. As for the duelist, well, she's similar to

for the duelist, well, she's similar to Grave robber in so many ways. She's a

Grave robber in so many ways. She's a dancing character with a past and

dancing character with a past and various potent debuffs and buffs. She's

various potent debuffs and buffs. She's mechanically complicated, being the

mechanically complicated, being the first character to use orange tokens as

first character to use orange tokens as more than just a buff in her kit. She's

more than just a buff in her kit. She's very clearly inspired by the wraith

very clearly inspired by the wraith class from Slay the Spire, having two

class from Slay the Spire, having two different stances that alter the effect

different stances that alter the effect of some of the abilities. Learning her

of some of the abilities. Learning her was definitely annoying, and I could

was definitely annoying, and I could talk about her a bit, but I think the

talk about her a bit, but I think the best way to tell you how I feel about

best way to tell you how I feel about her is to tell you how I feel about the

her is to tell you how I feel about the game's heroes in general. It's kind of a

game's heroes in general. It's kind of a recurring issue with the heroes in the

recurring issue with the heroes in the game that a lot of them are awkward with

game that a lot of them are awkward with no ability to really move out of that

no ability to really move out of that awkwardness that they often find

awkwardness that they often find themselves in. Some characters are more

themselves in. Some characters are more capable at moving out of it like cultist

capable at moving out of it like cultist and highway man, but you never really

and highway man, but you never really have characters like Plague Doctor and

have characters like Plague Doctor and Man-at-Arms that are consistently able

Man-at-Arms that are consistently able to contribute meaningfully in every

to contribute meaningfully in every situation they get into, which is why I

situation they get into, which is why I have nearly every character in the game

have nearly every character in the game on Ctier. Duelist as a character feels

on Ctier. Duelist as a character feels painfully similar to Grave robber in

painfully similar to Grave robber in that the kid itself is not bad, but the

that the kid itself is not bad, but the numbers are painfully low on average.

numbers are painfully low on average. She's capable of contributing in some

She's capable of contributing in some scenarios, though she often requires a

scenarios, though she often requires a lot of forward thinking and a

lot of forward thinking and a considerable amount of team setup for

considerable amount of team setup for what feels like a slightly above average

what feels like a slightly above average payback at its peak. And so, as you can

payback at its peak. And so, as you can imagine, she's not very easy to use.

imagine, she's not very easy to use. When I wanted her to do damage, she had

When I wanted her to do damage, she had an ability that can do that. When I

an ability that can do that. When I wanted her to stun, she had the ability.

wanted her to stun, she had the ability. When I wanted her to dodge or repost,

When I wanted her to dodge or repost, she got the stuff for that, too. But

she got the stuff for that, too. But more often than not, I wasn't able to do

more often than not, I wasn't able to do them. Usually because someone got

them. Usually because someone got pushed, blinded, or critted. Even the

pushed, blinded, or critted. Even the repost didn't always make sense to use

repost didn't always make sense to use because she has an extremely low health

because she has an extremely low health bar. She's dancing party material. But

bar. She's dancing party material. But in all of my attempts, I couldn't really

in all of my attempts, I couldn't really make dancing teams work. Usually because

make dancing teams work. Usually because the game revolved heavily around dealing

the game revolved heavily around dealing damage quickly, especially for bosses,

damage quickly, especially for bosses, something that dancing teams often

something that dancing teams often required setup and some luck to get. Her

required setup and some luck to get. Her sub classes also explore her

sub classes also explore her mechanically, adding even more

mechanically, adding even more complexity to her already complex

complexity to her already complex management. In my experience, everything

management. In my experience, everything sucked except for antagonist, which

sucked except for antagonist, which stood out with its debuffs, allowing for

stood out with its debuffs, allowing for significant damage mitigation or big

significant damage mitigation or big damage setup with characters like

damage setup with characters like cultist. I should also mention that the

cultist. I should also mention that the descriptions of the subasses are

descriptions of the subasses are absolutely horrible. They give you the

absolutely horrible. They give you the idea of what the changes are supposed to

idea of what the changes are supposed to do, but tell you nothing about what it

do, but tell you nothing about what it actually does, which in this game more

actually does, which in this game more often than not matters more than the

often than not matters more than the idea of what something does. It's a

idea of what something does. It's a repeated issue with the game. See

repeated issue with the game. See Carcass for a glowing example, but

Carcass for a glowing example, but specifically with these subasses, you

specifically with these subasses, you can't find what the stance bonuses are

can't find what the stance bonuses are without looking it up because the

without looking it up because the in-game token descriptions stay exactly

in-game token descriptions stay exactly the same regardless of what subclass you

the same regardless of what subclass you use. I can only explain this by saying

use. I can only explain this by saying that they literally forgot to put the

that they literally forgot to put the information in the game. Overall, maybe

information in the game. Overall, maybe more on the bad side, I think. For her

more on the bad side, I think. For her squishiness, I would hope for more

squishiness, I would hope for more damage output, but she works best as a

damage output, but she works best as a setup for other characters with her

setup for other characters with her debuffs. I should mention that I don't

debuffs. I should mention that I don't feel like I fully explored her due to

feel like I fully explored her due to her complexity. The DLC costs $10. It's

her complexity. The DLC costs $10. It's not bad, just annoying with how much

not bad, just annoying with how much grinding you have to do for something

grinding you have to do for something that you would have already had paid

that you would have already had paid for.

for. [Music]

[Music] Now, as big of a fan I am of money, I

Now, as big of a fan I am of money, I got to say the developers at Red Hook

got to say the developers at Red Hook Studios keep finding new ways to milk

Studios keep finding new ways to milk people out of cash because they

people out of cash because they paywalled another fan favorite, the

paywalled another fan favorite, the abomination for $10. A single character

abomination for $10. A single character this time around for $10. I'm going to

this time around for $10. I'm going to be real with you. This one to me sucked

be real with you. This one to me sucked especially because a bomb in the first

especially because a bomb in the first game used to be my favorite character. I

game used to be my favorite character. I had the OG squad back in the day. It was

had the OG squad back in the day. It was the first squad that I ever put together

the first squad that I ever put together that worked perfectly in every

that worked perfectly in every situation. Sajit the healer with a

situation. Sajit the healer with a gambling addiction. Nick Gurr, his

gambling addiction. Nick Gurr, his birthday was every day. Nelly the

birthday was every day. Nelly the nerfed, who kept getting nerfed. And

nerfed, who kept getting nerfed. And Budika, who can be seen jumping from one

Budika, who can be seen jumping from one tree to another on Thursdays. It was the

tree to another on Thursdays. It was the first time I started doing well in the

first time I started doing well in the first game, and the team would have some

first game, and the team would have some close calls that ultimately grew my

close calls that ultimately grew my attachment to them. And while I always

attachment to them. And while I always knew that their time would eventually

knew that their time would eventually end, I never would have expected how it

end, I never would have expected how it would happen. Not by the hands of some

would happen. Not by the hands of some bad luck with a low-level mob. Not by

bad luck with a low-level mob. Not by the hand of a mega boss, but by the

the hand of a mega boss, but by the hands of the developers themselves.

hands of the developers themselves. How will I gamble now? No.

How will I gamble now? No. The abomination as a class was

The abomination as a class was engineered to be overpowered because to

engineered to be overpowered because to bring him would not only stress out the

bring him would not only stress out the team, but it would also cause religious

team, but it would also cause religious characters to outright refuse joining

characters to outright refuse joining the party with him back in the day. And

the party with him back in the day. And while that didn't matter for most of the

while that didn't matter for most of the characters it locked out, it did lock

characters it locked out, it did lock out Vestal from the party, which in the

out Vestal from the party, which in the first game was a must-have on every

first game was a must-have on every team. Red Hook Studios in their infinite

team. Red Hook Studios in their infinite wisdom woke up one day, ate Caesar's

wisdom woke up one day, ate Caesar's salad, and then stabbed the class 23

salad, and then stabbed the class 23 times. When asked what their intent was

times. When asked what their intent was with the nerf, they replied with the

with the nerf, they replied with the following. Bigger, our own tribal

following. Bigger, our own tribal psychic, predicted that Hamos would be

psychic, predicted that Hamos would be problem in the future. So we naf and nef

problem in the future. So we naf and nef until he never problem again. Migaba,

until he never problem again. Migaba, African game designer. Migaba signing

African game designer. Migaba signing out. They just randomly decided to walk

out. They just randomly decided to walk back the entire philosophy of his

back the entire philosophy of his design. Nerfing him into being an

design. Nerfing him into being an awkward character and removing the

awkward character and removing the religious limitation. So, checking out a

religious limitation. So, checking out a DLC where they re-release the character

DLC where they re-release the character gave me a hint of nostalgia. I was

gave me a hint of nostalgia. I was actually excited to play as Nelly again.

actually excited to play as Nelly again. Hopefully, this time without the nerfs.

Hopefully, this time without the nerfs. Let's check him out.

Let's check him out. What? What? Only two. They only gave him

What? What? Only two. They only gave him two abilities. That's all they gave him.

two abilities. That's all they gave him. That's all they gave my boy. I think I'm

That's all they gave my boy. I think I'm going to cheat to get all abilities. I

going to cheat to get all abilities. I kind of don't want to just play with

kind of don't want to just play with something that's completely dead weight

something that's completely dead weight on the party. Modal skill sets, that's

on the party. Modal skill sets, that's one of his character descriptions.

one of his character descriptions. I'm pretty sure they're just going out

I'm pretty sure they're just going out of their way to be unintuitive at this

of their way to be unintuitive at this point. I think I know what they refer it

point. I think I know what they refer it to, not from the board itself. I have no

to, not from the board itself. I have no idea what this means, but I know what it

idea what this means, but I know what it means because I played a bomb in the

means because I played a bomb in the first game. Also, they say here flexible

first game. Also, they say here flexible damage, but in classic red hook fashion,

damage, but in classic red hook fashion, they forgot to give him the damage. All

they forgot to give him the damage. All right, I'll see you when I'm done.

Okay, by now I've done some good runs with all of the subasses. The way the

with all of the subasses. The way the class works is that it has two skill

class works is that it has two skill sets. One for human mode and another for

sets. One for human mode and another for beast mode. Though using beast mode

beast mode. Though using beast mode comes at the cost of stressing out the

comes at the cost of stressing out the character itself and the party members.

character itself and the party members. The default subclass, more abundant and

The default subclass, more abundant and unchanged, were all pretty bad and

unchanged, were all pretty bad and awkward. Very rarely shined. So much so

awkward. Very rarely shined. So much so that I'm just going to skip over them.

that I'm just going to skip over them. Fiend is where the beast mode properly

Fiend is where the beast mode properly contributed in my opinion. Though using

contributed in my opinion. Though using beast mode can stress you out pretty

beast mode can stress you out pretty quick, so you had to be very calculated

quick, so you had to be very calculated with how you use it. The abomination can

with how you use it. The abomination can also disrupt rank, but that doesn't mean

also disrupt rank, but that doesn't mean much when nearly any enemy can use any

much when nearly any enemy can use any ability from any position. It's easier

ability from any position. It's easier to name the ones that can't than the

to name the ones that can't than the ones that can. That shouldn't be the

ones that can. That shouldn't be the case. He's also pretty good at

case. He's also pretty good at self-healing. Easily the best

self-healing. Easily the best self-healer in the entire game. 50% of

self-healer in the entire game. 50% of his health back and minus three stress

his health back and minus three stress all in one click, but it can only be

all in one click, but it can only be used twice in one fight. Overall,

used twice in one fight. Overall, honestly, outside of the fiend subclass,

honestly, outside of the fiend subclass, beast mode doesn't feel like beast mode.

beast mode doesn't feel like beast mode. It's a character that only works with

It's a character that only works with one specific subclass. They really

one specific subclass. They really missed the mark with this one. They

missed the mark with this one. They learned from the community backlash of

learned from the community backlash of the first game. This time around,

the first game. This time around, instead of waking up one day, eating

instead of waking up one day, eating Caesar salad, releasing the class, then

Caesar salad, releasing the class, then nerfing it pretty hard, they instead

nerfing it pretty hard, they instead woke up one day, ate Greek salad, nerfed

woke up one day, ate Greek salad, nerfed the class into the ground, and then

the class into the ground, and then released it. There's also supposed to be

released it. There's also supposed to be a new mini area, but in four winning

a new mini area, but in four winning runs, which is about 12 hours of

runs, which is about 12 hours of gameplay, I'm yet to see it. So, if I

gameplay, I'm yet to see it. So, if I paid for this DLC, I would have paid for

paid for this DLC, I would have paid for content that I can't explore at will.

content that I can't explore at will. The top review for the DLC at the time

The top review for the DLC at the time of recording begs the developers to go

of recording begs the developers to go back to the gameplay loop of the first

back to the gameplay loop of the first game.

game. Now, about that spreadsheet. In classic

Now, about that spreadsheet. In classic Hermos video fashion, the expected has

Hermos video fashion, the expected has unexpectedly happened. I wrote a script

unexpectedly happened. I wrote a script the size of a mountain and proceeded to

the size of a mountain and proceeded to throw away a script triple the size of

throw away a script triple the size of that script. In other words, I won't be

that script. In other words, I won't be covering the spreadsheet here in this

covering the spreadsheet here in this video. Instead, I've compiled my

video. Instead, I've compiled my findings and thoughts for most things

findings and thoughts for most things and summarized them in the spreadsheet

and summarized them in the spreadsheet itself, and you can find it in the

itself, and you can find it in the description. I'm going to be real with

description. I'm going to be real with you. Halfway through editing the video,

you. Halfway through editing the video, I realized I want to just move on. But

I realized I want to just move on. But the other part of me is like, "Hey,

the other part of me is like, "Hey, don't move on. There's still more to

don't move on. There's still more to look into. Go on. You wanted to have a

look into. Go on. You wanted to have a Socratic approach of critiquing things,

Socratic approach of critiquing things, didn't you? So, go ahead. Stare into the

didn't you? So, go ahead. Stare into the abyss and find at the bottom of that

abyss and find at the bottom of that hell hole New Zealand staring back at

hell hole New Zealand staring back at you. I realize it's quite a flawed way

you. I realize it's quite a flawed way of doing such a deep dive and that

of doing such a deep dive and that you're probably pointing and laughing at

you're probably pointing and laughing at this degree of neglect. But honestly,

this degree of neglect. But honestly, considering the subject matter of

considering the subject matter of today's video, I think spiritually it's

today's video, I think spiritually it's quite fitting. Just as Darkest Dungeon 2

quite fitting. Just as Darkest Dungeon 2 doesn't have any dungeons, the

doesn't have any dungeons, the spreadsheet section of the video doesn't

spreadsheet section of the video doesn't go over the spreadsheet. I will however

go over the spreadsheet. I will however in here cover two things that I thought

in here cover two things that I thought were too interesting to leave out sort

were too interesting to leave out sort of as a final note. I read 3,000

of as a final note. I read 3,000 reviews, but the raw number of all the

reviews, but the raw number of all the critiques except that one seems to be on

critiques except that one seems to be on the lower end of quantity. Why is that

the lower end of quantity. Why is that the case? Look, the numbers are low. And

the case? Look, the numbers are low. And if I'm being honest with you, initially

if I'm being honest with you, initially I thought I was the crazy one. But after

I thought I was the crazy one. But after a sample test of 400 reviews, something

a sample test of 400 reviews, something more interesting became clear. In

more interesting became clear. In general, the overwhelming majority of

general, the overwhelming majority of Steam reviews aren't thorough about the

Steam reviews aren't thorough about the game's mechanisms themselves. with the

game's mechanisms themselves. with the average number of details mentioned per

average number of details mentioned per review being just 1.8 details. That's

review being just 1.8 details. That's one to two different details mentioned

one to two different details mentioned per review. That's not even to mention

per review. That's not even to mention that most people just say the detail

that most people just say the detail without explaining why or how things

without explaining why or how things connect. Most people say that the game

connect. Most people say that the game is good or bad, sometimes comparing it

is good or bad, sometimes comparing it to something relevant, then move on. So,

to something relevant, then move on. So, for the more niche criticisms to hit the

for the more niche criticisms to hit the double digits in the first place, I

double digits in the first place, I think that spells a lot about how much

think that spells a lot about how much people wanted to like this game in the

people wanted to like this game in the first place. that or how hard the

first place. that or how hard the developers [ __ ] up the game. Second,

developers [ __ ] up the game. Second, and the main thing that I wanted to

and the main thing that I wanted to explain a bit more. Initially, for these

explain a bit more. Initially, for these three, I was just going to be mad and

three, I was just going to be mad and call everyone stupid. But along the way,

call everyone stupid. But along the way, I found something much more interesting.

I found something much more interesting. You see, whenever a game comes out

You see, whenever a game comes out calling itself a sequel, but ends up

calling itself a sequel, but ends up being too different to be a sequel.

being too different to be a sequel. There tends to be two opinions that

There tends to be two opinions that stand out the most. The first one

stand out the most. The first one details that the game should be judged

details that the game should be judged for what it is rather than what it is

for what it is rather than what it is advertised as, and the other details

advertised as, and the other details that the game should be judged for what

that the game should be judged for what it thinks it is. You can essentially

it thinks it is. You can essentially think of it as different degrees of

think of it as different degrees of objectivity, but frankly, both sides

objectivity, but frankly, both sides have a point. Marketing alone is an

have a point. Marketing alone is an entire section of making games. There's

entire section of making games. There's many instances of a game doing well just

many instances of a game doing well just because it was wellknown enough. And

because it was wellknown enough. And generally speaking, most people are

generally speaking, most people are willing to let go of the notion that

willing to let go of the notion that this game should be similar to its

this game should be similar to its predecessor so long as it is good enough

predecessor so long as it is good enough on its own foot. But when a game calls

on its own foot. But when a game calls itself a sequel in a subg genre that's

itself a sequel in a subg genre that's all about encountering the unknown to

all about encountering the unknown to then turn out to be nothing similar to

then turn out to be nothing similar to its predecessor and have quite a number

its predecessor and have quite a number of mechanics that don't mesh well with

of mechanics that don't mesh well with itself. At what point is it the buyer's

itself. At what point is it the buyer's fault for not doing enough research on a

fault for not doing enough research on a game that not only does a terrible job

game that not only does a terrible job at conveying information in general, but

at conveying information in general, but also expects you to know nothing in the

also expects you to know nothing in the first place. Whether you like to go in

first place. Whether you like to go in knowing nothing and figuring things out

knowing nothing and figuring things out on your own, or whether you play the

on your own, or whether you play the game with a guide video open in the

game with a guide video open in the back, regardless of that, I think

back, regardless of that, I think everyone can agree that calling it a

everyone can agree that calling it a sequel was a mistake. Too much is

sequel was a mistake. Too much is different, which makes it a spin-off and

different, which makes it a spin-off and should have been advertised that way. I

should have been advertised that way. I also think everyone agrees that it's

also think everyone agrees that it's pretty funny that they forgot to put in

pretty funny that they forgot to put in a dungeon in a game called The Darkest

a dungeon in a game called The Darkest Dungeon. And that's why I have the

Dungeon. And that's why I have the dungeon crawler tag reported on it on

dungeon crawler tag reported on it on Steam. Because not only does it not have

Steam. Because not only does it not have the premise of dungeons executed for the

the premise of dungeons executed for the most part, but even in its atmosphere

most part, but even in its atmosphere and narrative, there isn't any

and narrative, there isn't any claustrophobia whatsoever. If the game

claustrophobia whatsoever. If the game is attractive to you, don't feel bad. I

is attractive to you, don't feel bad. I myself can get into a shitty game every

myself can get into a shitty game every now and then that doesn't mesh well with

now and then that doesn't mesh well with itself. In fact, as of the editing of

itself. In fact, as of the editing of this video, I've downloaded malware and

this video, I've downloaded malware and sunk more than 200 hours into it. I'm

sunk more than 200 hours into it. I'm never going to get those $25 back, but

never going to get those $25 back, but at the very least, I can still go back

at the very least, I can still go back and play Darkest Dungeon One.

See what I did there? That's what I did there was called a joke. It's called a

there was called a joke. It's called a It's called a sarcasm. It's called a

It's called a sarcasm. It's called a prank. You know, kind of like the prank

prank. You know, kind of like the prank that Red Hook pulled on us when they

that Red Hook pulled on us when they released this DLC in the first place.

released this DLC in the first place. What a bunch of. As of the time of

What a bunch of. As of the time of recording, we're now approaching 4

recording, we're now approaching 4 months since Red Hook pushed an update

months since Red Hook pushed an update onto the game that breaks the Color of

onto the game that breaks the Color of Madness DLC. The loot window in the

Madness DLC. The loot window in the endless mode mission instantly closes

endless mode mission instantly closes the moment it opens up, which for a DLC

the moment it opens up, which for a DLC that's all about the loot from the loot

that's all about the loot from the loot window completely defeats the purpose of

window completely defeats the purpose of the entire DLC. It seems their thirst of

the entire DLC. It seems their thirst of ruin and my fun didn't end with the

ruin and my fun didn't end with the abomination nerf because now they're

abomination nerf because now they're going back and ruining parts of the game

going back and ruining parts of the game around the same time I decided to start

around the same time I decided to start playing it again. So, if you want to

playing it again. So, if you want to play Darkest Dungeon, but you already

play Darkest Dungeon, but you already played it and the sequel isn't actually

played it and the sequel isn't actually a sequel, what now? If you can believe

a sequel, what now? If you can believe it, I actually haven't been that big on

it, I actually haven't been that big on modding Darkest Dungeon, but I'd be

modding Darkest Dungeon, but I'd be doing this video a disservice if I

doing this video a disservice if I didn't mention a particular modded

didn't mention a particular modded overhaul that has been a bad influence

overhaul that has been a bad influence on my attention span recently. The Black

on my attention span recently. The Black Riquary is available for free, provided

Riquary is available for free, provided you have the base game itself. I won't

you have the base game itself. I won't talk much about it because honestly,

talk much about it because honestly, it's best you explore it for yourself.

it's best you explore it for yourself. It's a pretty well-made modded overhaul,

It's a pretty well-made modded overhaul, and despite it saying that it features a

and despite it saying that it features a full campaign on the store page, there

full campaign on the store page, there isn't one yet. But there is two bosses

isn't one yet. But there is two bosses in every region and two new classes to

in every region and two new classes to play with. It completely reimagines

play with. It completely reimagines various sections of the game. There's

various sections of the game. There's honestly too much to mention, but for

honestly too much to mention, but for example, some abilities are removed and

example, some abilities are removed and replaced with different ones altogether.

replaced with different ones altogether. Even the combat itself begins with a

Even the combat itself begins with a preparation round where accuracy is

preparation round where accuracy is halfed to encourage the use of buffs and

halfed to encourage the use of buffs and debuffs. It has only one difficulty, and

debuffs. It has only one difficulty, and it assumes you're good at the base game,

it assumes you're good at the base game, so be ready for trouble. All in all,

so be ready for trouble. All in all, it's really good. The new regions are

it's really good. The new regions are wellmade and unique, each featuring some

wellmade and unique, each featuring some sort of unique threat or mechanic. Like

sort of unique threat or mechanic. Like the treasury, which is my favorite

the treasury, which is my favorite region because I love money. It offers

region because I love money. It offers very little to no fights, but it does

very little to no fights, but it does however offer many optional fights and

however offer many optional fights and if done right, more difficult fights

if done right, more difficult fights that reward you with highly valuable

that reward you with highly valuable items that stack a lot. If you're

items that stack a lot. If you're confident and smart, this is a pretty

confident and smart, this is a pretty good way to get rich. I should mention

good way to get rich. I should mention as well that since it's a darkest

as well that since it's a darkest dungeon mod, technically speaking, it

dungeon mod, technically speaking, it does also carry the curse of being a

does also carry the curse of being a darkest dungeon mod, which of course

darkest dungeon mod, which of course means that there is a gazillion

means that there is a gazillion unexpected bananas and wa as if you know

unexpected bananas and wa as if you know what I mean. I love the aesthetic and

what I mean. I love the aesthetic and how the different regions work. And I

how the different regions work. And I also love how every guide of this

also love how every guide of this overhaul is [ __ ] with in some way.

overhaul is [ __ ] with in some way. It's got its own flaws, but it's more of

It's got its own flaws, but it's more of a sequel than Darkest Dungeon 2 ever was

a sequel than Darkest Dungeon 2 ever was to the first game. You also get a couple

to the first game. You also get a couple trinkets that boost or slow down XP

trinkets that boost or slow down XP gain. I'm actually a huge fan of this

gain. I'm actually a huge fan of this edition. You know, this has all honestly

edition. You know, this has all honestly been a healthy reminder to me that no

been a healthy reminder to me that no matter how much you like a core idea or

matter how much you like a core idea or concept, that doesn't mean the

concept, that doesn't mean the developers can't make tragically foolish

developers can't make tragically foolish mistakes. Combining Pepsi and Coca-Cola,

mistakes. Combining Pepsi and Coca-Cola, then going on to advertise it as water,

then going on to advertise it as water, too. And while I can respect the

too. And while I can respect the willingness to experiment with the

willingness to experiment with the formula that they had, experimenting

formula that they had, experimenting shouldn't come as blind as it did in

shouldn't come as blind as it did in here when they're trying to pass a

here when they're trying to pass a dating sim as a Lovecrafty and

dating sim as a Lovecrafty and turn-based rogike game. I then have to

turn-based rogike game. I then have to question the replayable value of putting

question the replayable value of putting the meat and bone of the game way beyond

the meat and bone of the game way beyond the refund threshold. That's terrible.

the refund threshold. That's terrible. But it's honestly also terribly

But it's honestly also terribly inspiring. And so it is in the same

inspiring. And so it is in the same spirit that I tell you now that future

spirit that I tell you now that future content is going to make a lot less

content is going to make a lot less sense. I say that's what I say. What a

sense. I say that's what I say. What a bunch of [ __ ] Honestly, what about

bunch of [ __ ] Honestly, what about it's going to be a lot less thorough and

it's going to be a lot less thorough and it will contain more lies than the

it will contain more lies than the entirety of Darkest Dungeon 2's UI. As a

entirety of Darkest Dungeon 2's UI. As a starting point for this, on the Patreon,

starting point for this, on the Patreon, you can now pay less for the same

you can now pay less for the same benefits, mostly because the videos take

benefits, mostly because the videos take too long to come out. And if you don't

too long to come out. And if you don't want to pay to join the Discord server,

want to pay to join the Discord server, you can gamble your Twitch points for a

you can gamble your Twitch points for a chance at entering. And if you don't

chance at entering. And if you don't want to pay and don't have the time,

want to pay and don't have the time, there's still a simple, reliable way for

there's still a simple, reliable way for you to enter. Find the Easter egg, and

you to enter. Find the Easter egg, and when you do, follow the instructions.

when you do, follow the instructions. The deadline is 1 week after the public

The deadline is 1 week after the public release of this video on YouTube.

release of this video on YouTube. There's also a second channel featuring

There's also a second channel featuring an extremely different type of content.

an extremely different type of content. One that is more seriousoriented, if you

One that is more seriousoriented, if you can believe it.

Thank you. Oh my god, another murder. And finally,

Oh my god, another murder. And finally, for an entire month after this video

for an entire month after this video comes out, I'll be streaming twice every

comes out, I'll be streaming twice every week. So that's more chances for more

week. So that's more chances for more points for more gambling. If despite

points for more gambling. If despite this video, you have found Darkest

this video, you have found Darkest Dungeon 2 to be something worthwhile to

Dungeon 2 to be something worthwhile to look into and you don't want to get

look into and you don't want to get scammed like me, then consider the

scammed like me, then consider the immediate superpower that each of us

immediate superpower that each of us embodies, the ability to introduce into

embodies, the ability to introduce into the equation my own spirit animal, the

the equation my own spirit animal, the concept of piracy.

[Music] Hey, hey, hey.

Hey, hey, hey. [Music]

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